A Girl and Her Gun

A Stranger, Me and an ATM

2012-03-06T08:40:00.001-08:00

The other day I had a check that needed to be deposited. I did not need the funds immediately, so I decided to use my banks ATM machine. When I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed that is was fairly empty and that there was only one person in line for the ATM machine. By the time I parked and got to the line the woman who was in line was now at the machine. She had her back to the street and thus to me. I walked up leaving ample distance as that is the polite thing to do. I was surprised that she didn't turn around to see who was coming up behind her, but I didn't think a lot about it.

Five minutes pass and she is still doing her thing. Her back still to me and never once looking over her shoulder. This bank does not have a mirror or even a window that one could glance up at to see who might be in line. I take a scan of the parking lot for my own situational awareness and then look back at her. I look at my watch and notice it has been well over 10 minutes. Still, she stands there, never taking her eyes off of the screen in front of her.

My mind starts to wonder and I think, does this woman not know how dangerous this is? Then I think how dangerous is it? It's broad day light in what appears to be a busy parking lot with several cars parked and the entrance to the bank only steps away. Who would attack someone here?

I look at my watch again and it has now been 17 minutes. In that time only one car has driven by and only one person walked across the lot, face down in his cell phone. I looked around again and I saw a plain white van. It appeared to be some kind of work van, but it did not have any names or markings that would identify it as such.

Two more minutes go by and I am agitated. I want to tap this woman on the shoulder and ask her if she realized I had been standing there? Did she know how long it had been since she turned around to see anything? I wanted to ask her if that white van pulled up to the curb, blocking the entire view of the ATM machine how easy it would be for someone to grab her and toss her in before she could yell. I wanted to say for well over 17 minutes I stood behind you with a gun on my hip and if I were a bad guy, you would not be in such a good fighting position. Even if someone spotted the van and the security cameras could track him down it would be a good bit of time that you would be alone with a bad guy. For the love of God, please take a look around once in a while.

I didn't. I just stood there, looking and waiting until she was done. I walked up to the machine and did my thing, all the while taking the time to scan and look and see who the man was that came up behind me to stand in line. I walked back to my car, looking at the cars and as I did. I got in my car and I was uneasy. Not for me, but I kept thinking about that woman. It's been about 4 days and I keep thinking about her. I know she is safe and that is good. I am glad I was the one behind her, but she is kind of a symbol in my mind for all the rest who don't pay attention. Man, how I wished she would have turned around.

I Am Happy

2012-03-06T06:35:00.000-08:00

I could end the post right there...I Am Happy, but you know I am not gonna.

I did not mean for last night's post to be a lovefest of me, but thank you all for your kindness. The dude ticked me off, just ask my husband who sat there laughing at me as I ranted and raved.

Then this morning I was making my rounds and read this. Reading, nodding my head, saying yep, sure, idiot, the usual and then I came across my new little pet name "dumbf&@#" and I see a link titled "one of the best actual pro- rights activist". I always click on the links, so I did this time as well and to my surprise when I did I ended up on my blog! A person I have great respect for called me a pro-rights activist. That felt good. I started out a victim, became a gunnie and now others see me as an activist. I will tell you what, the antigun folks can call me whatever they want as long as I have the good fortune to hang with the likes of you all.

Our side won some pretty good battles yesterday in Colorado and Maryland.

This past weekend I didn't do anything gunwise. I didn't go to the range, I didn't go to training, I didn't even dry fire, I just hung with my family. I did watch some cool shows on the Military channel, but pretty much I cooked and played games and did the mom thing. The next few weekends will be spent with friends and then at the end of the month I get to meet some bloggers and so the Appleseed thing.

I have shared some very meaningful emails with new friends recently, getting to know them a little better and building deeper bonds.

I find my husband incredibly amazing, so we have been working on my "tactical advantage" and I have to say it's my favorite kind of prepping.

My new holster is breaking in nicely and my new gun is shooting like a champ, so I guess all I have to say today is that I Am Happy and I hope you are too!

I Like Women

2012-03-05T17:28:00.001-08:00

I am sometimes amazed at the emails I get. Most are more than generous, but man some just annoy me to know end. Recently someone asked me "Why I am so hell bent on excluding men from the gun carrying movement". First of all, that sure gives me a heck of a lot of power, power I didn't even know I had.

I can't imagine how any person can read my blog and think that I want to exclude any law abiding person from anything. Nothing about me or my blog says exclusion. Carry, for the love of all that is good and holy, CARRY.

Now, my focus in terms of Give A Way's and education and advocacy does lean towards the female persuasion and this should not come as a shock to anyone, I AM A WOMAN. if this does shock anyone, you are not paying attention.

I can not do everything, no one can. I am with the entire gun "movement" that is for safe, responsible gun ownership. I support men and women who shoot for sport, enjoyment and self protection. I am for the education of youngsters and I am for less government pretty much all around, but my heart is with the women.

I will admit that I like being feminine. I like my soft curves and my gentle nature. I like when a man opens my door or offers me his coat. I like the way I feel when my husband protects me. To be loved by a man who would literally lay his life down for you is touching. I don't think that he is the only man who would do that, but even so, as nice as that is, there is nothing more empowering, more sexy, more encouraging or more valuable then being able to take care of myself.

When I was in that parking lot, there was only one man there and he was there to harm me. I did not feel much that day other than fear, but the days that followed were full of guilt and shame. I felt dirty and I felt weak. As much as my man wanted to protect me, he couldn't. That is something I needed to do and I didn't. Yes, someone came along and saved me and I can not tell you how utterly un-comforting that reality is.

My goal for the rest of my life will be to help women understand that they, themselves, are solely responsible for their safety and while it is nice to have back up that is no substitute for knowing how to defend your own life, and unfortunately, for many women that will often be against the one who claims to love them the most.

I will not apologize for focusing on women and to be honest, all the men I respect are not the least be intimated or bothered by that.

A Couple Of Things

2012-03-05T09:46:00.000-08:00

A month or so ago, I got an email from James at The Typical Shooter blog. He wanted to know if he could do a write up on me and link to the story I wrote for Aaron at Weapon Blog. I said yes and he did. If you are interested you can go here. The article itself does not offer anything new to my story, but he offers his perspective. If nothing else head on over to check out his other articles. He has really good stuff and it's an excellent resource for the new shooters in the groups.

I wanted to thank all of you for heading to She's a Garand Gal and offering your support. As you can imagine this has not been easy on her.

This morning I read over at Say Uncle that Josh Horwitz has a problem with guns and those who own them, even the legal ones. Here is part of that article...

Looman admits that he regularly "open carries" a firearm. Open Carry is not necessary for self-defense--just about every state that allows the practice also has liberal Concealed Carry laws. Open Carry is instead a political statement in the best tradition of John Wilkes Booth, Timothy McVeigh, Sharron Angle and Ted Nugent. The message is, "Voting is peachy, but if we can't get what we want through the ballot, we reserve the right to administer 'Second Amendment remedies.'" Such insurrectionist ideology has been spoon-fed to right wing Americans for years by the National Rifle Association (NRA) and its Executive Vice-President, Wayne LaPierre.

I don't know enough about the laws or why every single person who open carries chooses to do so and I don't know enough about John Wilkes Booth, Timothy McVeigh or even the Nug to comment on what political statement they were or are trying to make, but I can comment on the completely insane idea that legal gun owners go into a voting site or anywhere for that matter with the idea of strong arming others into doing what they want. If Mr. Horwitz bothered to read a single book or blog or talking to any law abiding, legally licensed gun owner then he would know that not one of them is trying to force anyone into anything. Actually he does know that. He is patently aware of all the numbers and the motives of those who legally carry a firearm, but his point is not to inform, it is to scare.

Here is the deal, people who legally own guns are looking to protect themselves from the bad guy. You know the one who is trying to force himself on others. And by force, I mean grabbing their arm and shoving them onto the pavement and then laying on top of them. I mean by taking out a knife and stabbing someone violently. I mean busting into a woman's house after she barricaded the door. I mean force. In addition, I don't know a single gun owner that is trying to make a law requiring all people to carry guns. Sure a blogger or two might reminisce about a time in our country's history where men were required to carry guns and the people respected The Constitution, but they are not trying to force anything on anyone else. All they want is for the folks that are elected to uphold The Constitution actually do just that.

There is no force or threat by the mere presence of a gun. If there were my daughter's bedroom would not be a pigsty right now. My daughter is 13, she is well aware of the rules. She knows I will not be pleased and that I am not a pushover and she is gonna have to clean it up. She also knows I carry a gun and have no problem using it on a bad guy and she knows that no matter how annoyed I get with her constant teenage need to buck the system, I am not gonna use the gun on her. She has zero fear that I or my husband or our 20 year old son or any of our friends are going to "administer our second amendment" rights as a "remedy" to the problem. I serve on the PTA and everyone there knows I carry(not at the school) and many of them disagree with me, sometimes passionately and yet not one of them fears I will force my opinion on them by using my gun. The mere presence of my gun(if we are at my house or theirs or at a restaurant) does not intimidate any one of them to change their opinion. None of them are afraid of me, at all and my gun is right there the whole time. The gun CAN NOT hurt anyone. The gun can not threaten them or force them into anything. I would have to be the threat. I would have to decide to use the gun in order to make any kind of force possible.

The fear is not from the gun or even from Mr. Looman. No one was afraid of Mr. Looman and no one there thought, not even for a second that they should change their vote because a man with a gun walked into the school. They are not afraid at all. Mr. Horwitz has all the facts. These people like Josh Horwitz are looking for control. They want to control all the money, all the jobs, all the weapons. They want to tell you and me how much we are worth and lets be clear, they place very little value on us. These anti gun people want power in every possible way and they are lying and using fear to get it. In general if someone intentionally tries to scare me, it usually works. These people scare the hell out of me and they should scare you too. If someone lies to you for "your own good", you might want to think twice about giving them too much power over your money, your freedoms and most especially your safety.

Lastly, I don't write this post with any hope that Josh Horowitz is going to change his mind, evil rarely does, but I write it for you, the one who might still be on the fence. If you are not convinced that the anti gun crowd will use any possible means to lie to you go here and read Weer'd's post. As you do, think about this, I use what happened to me as a way to say "Hey, I made a mistake" and because I don't want anyone else to make that same mistake. I don't want anyone to be able to hurt you and so I share my ugly mistake and say here are a few things I learned, perhaps they could help you. You are in full control of whether you want to take those suggestions and nothing that I do is a lie or is used for my own benefit, nothing. You should look at the people behind the tweets and blogs and see who they are and what they want before you decide to make yourself a sacrificial lamb for their cause.

T & A

2012-03-04T06:58:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to have pictures taken of me and my gun for a while, but I haven't been able to figure out exactly what I want those pictures to look like. I am not creative at all. I am a very linear thinker. The other day I saw this on the Glock Facebook page

I love it! This woman is very sexy and strong, but not trashy. I, of course, do not want to copy her photo, but I think this is the type of picture I would like to do. So I took to the internet to find other images. You might be surprised to learn I did not find many photos such as these. What I did find were lots of photos like this

My first thought was, yes, yes, yes, this is exactly how I dress when I am training. Since I got my new belt holster, I have had to make a few minor adjustments to my training outfits, but this picture pretty much covers it, or uncovers it as it were. The risk to taking pictures of my actual training regime is that I would be informing the enemy of and thus taking away my tactical advantage.

In a surprisingly short conversation with my husband, we decided that it would not be wise to display so much of my T & A(Tactical Advantage), so the search continues.

Act Of Valor

2012-03-02T13:43:00.000-08:00

Today my husband left work early and we went to the theater to see Act Of Valor. If you have been reading my blog long then you know this is not my typical choice in a movie, but I wanted to see it very much. I had read that is was originally intended to be a recruitment video, so I am not sure what I thought it would be, but I guess I pictured people jumping out of helos with upbeat patriotic music in the background. It is not that kind of movie.

I feel like it would diminish those who serve and sacrifice for our country for me to offer any kind of review and I certainly would not dishonor them by drawing any kind of parallel between what I have been through and what they choose to do on a daily bases, although I will say I do not think it was a coincidence that I saw this movie on this day.

The movie speaks for itself, go see it.

A Look Back

2012-03-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

I do not know the exact day that my daughter and I were walking in that parking lot. I foolishly did not file a police report, I did not go to the doctor, in fact, for for a couple of days I was kind of in a fog. I know it was the beginning of March and that it was only a couple weeks before my Conceal Carry class, but the exact date I am not sure. It's irrelevant really, but here it is March again and that makes it about a year since that day. The ups and downs have been well documented on this blog, fortunately I think there have been far more good things than bad. Lets take a look at all that has happened since that day:

I bought a gun. A Glock .27 to be exact
I took an intense training
I learned to trust myself
I got stronger
I learned to take risks
I learned to forgive myself
I learned the truth is always better than the lie, even if that lie is to protect others.
I shot a lot of guns
I met some incredible people-Do you know I still get several hundred people a week that view that post?
I became stronger
I learned how to take care of myself
I bought enough ammo to arm a small country...shot most of it
I bought a Ruger LCP
I bought a Thompson .22LR for my daughter
I bought a Mosin Nagant
I took 2 more training classes and have a 3rd one scheduled for this month
I introduced a friend to shooting and later this year she will be attending her first training
I contributed to helping a woman get training and a receive whole heck of a lot of gear
I helped support other woman both financially and emotional on their journey to becoming more free
I cussed a bit
I am learning how to stand up for myself
I got a new BFF
I learned I am tougher than I thought
I learned the difference between double action and single action(that was a hard fought battle)
I was reminded of what really matters and how to fight for it
I learned what tongue punch meant(not everything was good)
I learned that it is ok to freak out
I learned I won't break
I am helping my daughter heal
I am healing
I discovered a new passion
I faced fears and overcame them
I lost 10 pounds
I took chances
I find courage and strength I never knew I had. I found it in the support and love of others and I found it in myself. All and all I would say it has been a pretty good year.

Quote Of The Day

2012-03-01T17:43:00.000-08:00

"Ever since you started carrying, I am hyper aware of everything going on around me."-my 13 year old daughter.

On Thursday nights my daughter and I crawl into my bed and we read. She brings her favorite book and I have mine. I make a pot of tea and she gets a plate of cookies, usually something with lemon. About 50% of the time we actually read, but the other 50% we end up chit chatting. Tonight was a chit chat night.

We were not really talking about anything specific. Random things like the heart breaking realization that Justin Beiber is 18 today and it's now officially illegal for her to date him, should he call.

She started talking about school and her friends and then says, you know what is annoying?

"What?" I say.

"Ever since you started carrying, I am hyper aware of everything going on around me.". She goes on to explain that she can no longer walk in oblivion, unaware of what might be happening around her and that she feels she has to pay extra attention because no one else is.

I think I'm doing good.

Cornered Cat Update

2012-03-01T08:29:00.002-08:00

I wanted to give a quick update as to where we are on this class.

First I want to let everyone know I don't get anything if this class goes and I lose nothing if it doesn't. When I invited Mrs. Jackson to come here, I had already paid in full for her class in Memphis. I wanted her to come to Virginia because I respect her and I love this community. I wanted to do what I could to offer another top quality instructor to the folks here and hopefully to bring some publicity to what I consider to be one of the best local resources our area has, FPF Training. That's it. That was my entire motivation. I don't get a stipend and I didn't have to put anything down to get Kathy to come. I was offered a spot in the class, but since I already took it and I am a big fan of giving back, I gave my spot to a woman in the community who currently is not able to afford such a class. I say this, so you can be assured that what I am about to tell you is the truth.

Spots are going quickly. We still have room, but if you are seriously thinking about taking this course, I would consider making the decision soon.

I am so gosh darn excited! I can't wait to meet you all!!

A Favor

2012-02-29T12:31:00.000-08:00

I get a lot of emails. I guess that term "a lot" is relative. I don't know what a lot is, but for me the number of emails I get per day from women and more than a few men is a lot. Every single day I get emails with people telling me very personal and difficult things that they have experienced. Many have never told anyone else. The email to me is often the first time they shared what awful thing they went through. Some are stories of near misses, some parallel mine and some are so gut wrenchingly awful that it takes me a bit to get through them. But, I do. I read every word and offer whatever support I can and I spend an enormous amount of time on my knees for these women.

I would like to share one of those stories with you. This is probably going to be a story like you have never read before. It will probably challenge many of your emotions, but I ask that you take the time to read it.

When you are finished reading the story I would like for you to stop and think how different things could have been if any of the women had a weapon and/ or training. Then I would like you to consider going here and donating money to help Erin become trained and armed. I do not normally advertise(although this is the second time in a week) when I donate money to certain causes, but if I am asking you to give then it is fair that you know that I already have.

It's Not A Gun, But I Am Still Smiling

2012-02-29T06:56:00.002-08:00

Everyone here probably knows by now I love my Remora holsters. I mean I love them. They are comfortable and work perfectly for my lifestyle, but I have been wanting an OWB holster for a while and I wanted it to be pretty. My husband loves his from Dragon Leatherworks so much, I thought I would buy another one from them and I am sure I will someday, but one day I read a post by Jennifer about her husband, Michael, designing and donating a holster for one of our service members overseas. I am a big fan of our men and women who serve our country, so I popped on over to his site and was very impressed with what I saw.

I sent an email to Michael at The Holster Site and said something like "I want a holster, but I have no clue what I want". I might have given him a bit more to work with but not much. I knew I wanted a holster that went on my belt, was low profile, and was girly, but not over the top. He emailed me back right away and we tossed around a few ideas, came up with a price, I sent off the money and a few weeks later I had my brand spakin' new holster.

I was crazy excited when I got the tracking number and saw the arrival date. My mailman was not quiet as excited to see me as I was to see him. One time I was stalking around my house practicing dry fire and he came to the door, ever since then he pretty much just tosses my packages in the vicinity of the porch. However on that day I met him at the mailbox and snatched the box from his hands. I was smiling and all "Oh, hi, is that for me?" "I am so happy to see you." and he was all "Yeah", and had a look on his face like, please for the love of God woman just go back into your house. I guess a hyper active housewife with an enthusiastic look in her eyes and gun makes some people uncomfortable.

I got into the house, ripped open the box, literally. I am not using that cliched phrase for dramatic effect, I ripped that sucker open. Holy cow, it was awesome. Since we just talked things over in an email, I didn't have an image of exactly what the color would be or any specific details, only abstract images in my mind. I was just trusting Michael to translate my ideas into a workable holster and he did...except, when I went to put it on my belt my son said, "That is a right handed holster". "No, no, it's not." I assured him. "Mom, that is a right handed holster". I went upstairs got my gun, checked to be sure it was unloaded, tried to put it in my holster, but guess what? It was a right handed holster. My stomach sank.

This was my next email to Michael, "I got the holster." "It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen". "Unfortunately, I am left handed." His email to me. "AGirl, call me."

In all the excitement of going back and forth talking about the design, I never mentioned that I was left handed. I completely forgot to mention it. Not a word, nothing, nada, zippo. In case you are new to guns and have yet to order your first holster, I would like to offer you some handy dandy advice...Be sure to tell your holster maker if you are left handed. Seems obvious, you say? Well, who asked you?!

Since Michael is an incredibly kind and generous man, he said send it back and I will make you a new one. I did and he did. On Monday I received it! Monday was not a good day for me, so I did not meet the mailman at the mailbox and it's probably a good thing because the only worse than an excited housewife with a gun is one with red puffy eyes in sweat pants she has been wearing for 2 days. I am kind of thinking if I would have met him at the mailbox like that, he would be leaving my packages at the neighbors from now on.

So without further ado...

I know, I know...SHE IS GORGEOUS!!!!!! I am in love with this inanimate object and yes, I have on occasion over the past few days, just held it up to my nose and breathed in the leather. I have also opened up the bolt action on Anastasiya and got a little high on her scent as well. Do not anyone email me telling me how dangerous lead is or the corrosive properties of Russian ammo, I don't care. I don't smoke, I don't drink a lot, I don't drive fast, I work out, I eat healthy, I go to the doctor annually for all of those lovely little tests, I take a mutli vitamin, and I carry a gun. I don't exactly live life on the edge, but regardless of the risks, I am going to sniff my rifle from time to time.

It's possible, I got off topic again. Let me bring this back around...contact this man and pray that he is not too busy to make you your own thing of beauty, which also happens to be extremely well made. I don't know much about holsters, but I do know quality and folks, this is it. It is still brand new, so I am not wearing it yet, as I am safely breaking it in, but I will give you an update when I put it into actual service.

Thank you again, Michael!!!!!!

I Am Ok

2012-02-28T10:57:00.000-08:00

I love you all so much. I really do. The emails from you expressing your concern for me are deeply touching. I consider myself very fortunate to have the family and friends that I have and that feeling is extend to you all.

I am not sure I can explain this clearly, but I am going to try. I am fine. It's not an illusion or something I am trying to convince myself of. I am fine. More than fine. This year has had some bad times, down right rough. It has only been 12 months. I think I said this the last time I kind of freaked. Am I to the point where I am not effected at all by the memories? No, but I am ok with that. I want to feel. I do not want to become callus or dead inside. Yes, I feel pain, anger and sadness, but I also feel love, and joy and passion. I have hopes and dreams and goals for my future.

When I get mad, hurt, angry or frustrated, I write. I don't over eat or under eat. I don't drink or shop to much. I do not have thoughts of hurting myself or others, not even the idiot that attacked me. I am for the most part sleeping and I haven't had a single nightmare in forever.

I am a mom and a wife and I have always been protective of those I love. I try to keep it together for them, but sometimes I need to let it out and so I come here and I write. I kind of agree with Amy. I wish I could let it out. I wish I could yell and scream and cuss and throw something. But, I can't. I would scare my family. If I acted like that, they would think I had completely lost it and they would worry. I don't want them to worry because I am fine. I can't write a crazed post on here because you all would worry. I have only written a couple post that are a little nutty and it draws so much care and concern. If I ranted and raved I am afraid the Calvary would be sent. I don't want to discourage anyone from giving advice or checking on me, I love it, but I do want you to know that at core of who I am, I am more than good.

Before the attack, before guns were a part of my life, I was concerned with safety. We had an house alarm and we used it, still do. We locked our doors and we looked both ways before we crossed the street. I always wore my seat belt and I would never get in a car that didn't have one and anyone who rode with me, regardless of age, had to wear theirs. I know that wearing a seat belt does not guarantee safety, but it ups the chances and I want to do everything within my power to assure survival should I be involved in an accident. When we were in China to get our daughter, I had to ride in a van without seat belts. I climbed into a run down vehicle without seat belts and if you have ever been on a freeway in China then you know restraints are a must. I piled my entire family into this death trap on wheel and I didn't like it, but it is what I had to do, so i did it. I felt uneasy, but not paranoid. When we got back into the states and got into our car, I strapped my new child into a car seat and we all buckled up. I am not afraid to be without my gun. I am uneasy. I spent 2 weeks completely unarmed when I went to Minnesota. I went to restaurants and the mall and into a seedy gas stations. I felt uneasy, but I did it and as soon as I could, I put my gun back on. Not because I am paranoid, but because I want to do everything I can to ensure survival should I be in a situation that would warrant it's use.

I do need support. I do need to hear that I am doing the right things with my daughter and that I am not to blame, but I also need to be able to freak out a little. Reach out to me if you want, that is so nice, but don't worry. I promise you I am a survivor. I promise I am human and sometimes weak, but I am not fragile. I will not break! I don't mind reassuring you from time to time. I am not annoyed at all over the concern, I just honestly do not want to cause you anxiety. Really, I am ok.

Finally

2012-02-28T06:51:00.001-08:00

Ok, lets talk about some fun stuff like, guns!! On Saturday I went to Fairfax Virginia and took a course called Personal Protection in the Home from the Good folks at Innovative Defensive Solutions. I always am excited at an opportunity to train and to meet knew people, but when I woke up at 4 am to get ready for the class, I was not so excited. I am not a morning person. I am not really a night person either as I am usually in bed by 9. I guess I am more of a mid to late afternoon person, but that is a bit off topic.

When I got to the classroom, I immediately ran into Lynne and got a big hug. It was so nice to finally meet her in person. She is the best. Lynne introduced me to Evan Carson, President and Chief Instructor. For some reason I was nervous to meet him, but there was no need. He was nice and I was very comfortable chit chatting with him. Of course, I had to disarm, which I hate.

I completely understand the need to do this. I think it makes perfect sense and I know there really is no other safe way to conduct a class, but I still hate it. For the first few minutes I took a look around the room at the people there, I can tell you where everyone sat and what they were wearing. I don't know why I paid attention to that, but I did. I looked at the windows and the doors. We were in a hotel and I thought if someone goes on a rampage, I am not in the best spot. I have no idea, but I am assuming Evan and his partner, Dave were armed, but I would not be their first priority and plus I have this little thing about being able to defend myself. I felt safe and comfortable there and I was not overly paranoid, but I am just saying I prefer to have my gun.

At the very beginning of the class Evan purposed a question and one of the ladies in the class answered. Her answer did not sit well with me, so I said something. I am not going to get into the specifics because it will come out way more dramatic than it was and also, I do not want to open her up to any kind of criticism. Sometimes you lovely people try to defend me and by doing so, you get feisty with others. I love that, but she was a sweet, sweet woman and she meant no harm. The reason I bring it up at all is because it might be the first time I have ever confronted someone. I can't say 100% for sure that I have never said something to someone, but if I have it was rare. I was so nervous about doing it, my hands shook. I tried to pick up my coffee cup to calm myself and I had to set it back down because the liquid was literally jumping out of the cup. I think people thought I was upset about the topic, but I was really terrified about speaking up. After, I had I felt awful and I apologized to her and the instructors about 10 times. Occasionally I think about the exchange and I cringe. I didn't yell or call her names and I probably handled it fine, but in hindsight, I wish I would have handled it differently. The whole thing lasted about 5 minutes and everyone moved on.

The class itself was fantastic. Both Evan and Dave Kirchgessner, Vice President and Instructor, are smart, smart, smart guys. I learned a lot about things I had never thought about. Like which floors in a hotel not to stay on. That a bookcase full of books is pretty good cover. That it is legal in Virginia for a 12 year old child to have access to a firearm. I learned a lot.

One of the really cool things was that I got to train with Glock laser guns. I loved that! I was surprised by the level of detail both Evan and Dave have. There were 3 of us students standing side by side, picking up our training guns, and shooting and these two men saw everything. The first time, they walked around and checked our grip, stance, the usual and after a few times of that, we "drew" from the table top. The guns were on the table, someone would say fight or go or whatever, we each picked up a gun, aimed, fired. At one point Evan asked me if that was my normal grip. I looked and said yes and he said, really because earlier it looked like your index finger was a little higher up on the slide. I looked and he was right. I had picked up the gun quickly and my grip was not right.

The class offered a lot if insight to mindset and ideas for thinking out a plan. They talked about laws and different scenarios. Very, very helpful information and I really did learn a lot, but I walked away from that class with a valuable bit of information about myself that I didn't realize until I left there. I have learned a lot this past year. I knew a fair amount about the laws in Virginia and how to apply them. I understood every term they used or lets say 99%. I learned things, but I was not lost. That made me feel very confident in myself.

My favorite part of the class was when we got to go to the range and shoot. I know that surprises all of you. The classroom discussion is as important and I did enjoy it, but nothing makes me happier than a loaded gun and a place to shoot it. The range we went to was the NRA range. I had never been there before, so I had to take a test and fill out some paperwork. A lot of people think the test is dumb and I thought it might be, but it was fine. I knew all the answers to the basic gun rules etc, but I had to use their book to find answers about their specific range rules. I was happy to have that info because their rules are much different from the indoor range I shoot at and I would have broken several rules had I not had the test. It's a good range, but I didn't like everything about it. It's clean and the people are so, so nice, but the parking garage is creepy and dimly lit. I did not enjoy walking from my car to the range and the place was packed. A 3 hour wait to shoot. It is good that so many people were there, but I would not enjoy waiting and waiting. For one thing, I rarely have that kind of time, so I fear if that were my only choice, I would not get much training time. Here is what I loved...

The targets move!!! They have these neat computerized targets that can be set to do different things. I got so exited about that! It was crazy cool. The way things worked out, I got one on one instruction from Dave for about 30-45 minutes. That was a huge. He had me do all kinds of things I have never done before. He set the target to turn to the side and then flip at different intervals. He stood behind me and called out, 1 shot or 2 or 3. When the target flipped to face me, I was to shoot before if flipped back. That was fun. We also did drills where I was on one knee. Dave put my gun on the floor, magazine out, then he would say go, I would pick my up M&P, load it, shoot 2 shots, then stand up and shoot 2 more. He most certainly challenged my skill and my ability to handle a little stress. The NRA does not allow any pictures of any kind, so I got nothing to prove it, but I did pretty well I think. When my time was up, Dave said, "I don't really have much to tell you". He was not saying I was the best shooter ever and for me to go apply for Top Shot, I think what he was saying was that I have good solid fundamentals and if I continue working, I will improve. At least that is what I hope he meant. I had a blast!!

Innovative Defensive Solutions offers a variety of courses and I would strongly encourage you to attend one or two or all.

A Little Clarity

2012-02-28T05:42:00.002-08:00

Yesterday's post was suppose to be about my course at Innovative Defensive Solutions, but a conversation with my daughter changed that.

My morning was going beautifully. I was in a very chipper mood, the kids were doing well, no one was sick, the sun was shining and my husband made me a delicious cup of coffee. Who could ask for anything more?

About 15 minutes before the school bus came to pick up the kiddos, my 8 year old asked if she could talk to me. I said "Sure sweetcheeks, what's up?"

"I was wondering if I am old enough to shoot the bad guy?" "I mean, if there is another bad guy, can I shoot him?" She has asked this before. Several times. I think she is just looking for reassurance. I tell her the same thing I always tell, but this time her response was different.

I told her yes, she was old enough, but that she didn't have to worry because mommy was here and she was safe.(As an aside, I struggle with this. Our kids can't get to any guns in our house. There is no way for her to shoot the bad guy and she follows the rules of NEVER touching a gun without asking)

"Yes, I know, but if you couldn't stop him from hurting you then how will you stop him from hurting me?"

She has asked me before if I would keep her safe. If I would protect her. If dad would. If brother would. She has asked a lot, but she has never quite used those words to express her anxiety. I think it's good that she did. I think it is good that she came to me to talk. I think it is good that she wants to learn to be responsible for her own safety. I think it is good that she is looking for comfort and safety from her mommy. I think it is good that she is honest with me. We talked about how I did keep her safe by putting her inside the car and mommy moved the bad guy away from her and some other things. She felt better, for a minute at least. I asked her if she wanted to stay home from school and talk more, but she said, no. School is important.

I had a hard time letting her go. I would like to say that I accepted the situation, that I took comfort in knowing it is healthy to talk and to discuss and that both of us are doing better everyday, but I didn't. I ran my errands and came home to write my review of the class, but this came out instead.

I had a terrible day. I was very emotional and spent most of my energy on not crying. I was not all that nice to my family. I just kept saying, I am in a really bad mood, please, please leave me alone and they did. I tried to distract my mind with computer games, cleaning and playing with my new holster, but mostly I was just awful. I was exhausted and crawled into bed fairly early, although I didn't sleep well and was up at 4am. Around 5:30, I got out of bed and headed down stairs where I found these...

On the front door

On a mirror in the hallway

On the refrigerator


On the TV

My son had left notes all over the house for me to wake up to. I am blessed.

Since I couldn't sleep I went blog hopping. I stopped over at Miller's place and read some very sad news. Maybe you all could pop over and lend your support. Without the love and care of other's life can be pretty tough.

The Price Is High

2012-02-27T08:49:00.001-08:00

A month or so ago, I received a gift from The Gun Divas. Two books by Gavin De Becker. I was currently reading 3 other books at the time, but that night the books came, I opened up one, the Gift Of Fear and began reading.

The book opens with a story about a woman named Kelly. Kelly is in the stairwell of her apartment complex on her way up to her apartment when she encounters a man. She has never seen him before, but he seems nice enough. He offers to help, she says no, the have an exchange of words. She isn't sure why, she is not comfortable with him. Nothing about him is scary. He is dressed nice, he is being nice and he is making no threats at all. You probably have already guessed this does not end well. The man rapes Kelly in brutal fashion.

The guy who attacked me also was dressed nicely. He had short well kept hair. He was clean and he spoke very softly and he smiled. His eyes were cold and lacked soul. My daughter's pictures are bone chillingly accurate and when she talks of that day, his eyes are the thing she often comes back to, but he smiled and he said all the right things a nice person is suppose to say.

I wish more classes would focus on the fact that many attacks on woman happen slower and are not quite as obvious as the person who runs up behind you and screams some threat. Many attacks are fast and fit the profile of someone coming up behind, grabbing you and a struggle ensues, but I would hasten to guess, from my reading that there are an equal number of attacks that happen in a more stalking kind of way. For women the bar room scene is less about a discussion that gets out of hand and quickly turns into a brawl and more of the profiling, get to know you, even though you don't trust me, get you to at the very least follow me outta here, kind of thing. No class has time to discuss every possible scenario, but I think it would be beneficial to at least mention that for women, it can be very different. Often the wolf is in fact dressed like a sheep.

I was not raped, but much of my story and hers are the same. A man we did not know approached us, uninvited and did not leave us alone when we asked. Kelly's guy also said things like "Don't worry" "I won't hurt you" Like me, she felt those words were the opposite of comforting. She did make it out alive as did I, but not without some tough life lessons. She threw herself into healing and learning how to never again be a victim. She says looking back she can see that her internal voice was talking to her, that her intuition had been guiding her along and she can see where she listened and that without knowing she did act on signals that helped her to save her own life. My attack was interrupted, so I can not says as definitively as she can, but, I too, can see things I did right that day, that at the very least kept me alive until someone else came along. Kelly talks about being tired of feeling guilty for letting him get that close to her and tired of being blamed for being stupid.

After I got home from Memphis I picked up the book again and began to read. I am not surprised that the universe conspired that I would read the chapter I read the day after I wrote my post about the trip.

The author says: "I'v seen many times that after the shock of violence has begun to heal, victims will be carried in their minds back to the hallway or parking lot, back to the sights, smells, and sounds, back to the time when they still had choices, before they fell under someone's malevolent control, before they refused the gift of fear."

As I realized on the plane coming home, there was plenty of time for me to have made different choices between when I first felt fear and when he was on top me. I was afraid and I did not act on that fear, not enough anyway.

DeBecker says, "Often they will say about some particular detail. I realize this now, but I didn't know it then. Of course, if it is in their heads now, then it was in their heads then. What they mean is that they only now accept the significance. With denial, the details we need for the best predictions float silently by us like life preservers, and while the man overboard may enjoy the comfortable belief that he is still in his stateroom, there is soon a price to pay for his daydream.

The price is high.

"Maybe some good can come of this." "The weird thing is, with all this information, I am actually less afraid walking around now then I was before it happened-but there must be an easier way for people to learn."-Kelly

DeBecker, A woman could offer no greater cooperation to her soon to be attacker than to spend time telling herself, "But he seems like such a nice man".... A woman waiting for an elevator sees a man and she feels apprehension... How does she respond to natures strongest strongest survival signal? She suppresses it and says "I am not going to live like this."

The irony is that so many of us say, we are not going to live our lives in fear. We are not going to learn how to protect ourselves or carry a gun because we refuse to let the bad guy win. We refuse to give him that kind of power over our lives. We use the excuse of not being afraid and that lie puts us in the most vulnerable position we can be in, defenseless. When you are out of excuses and when someone is lying on top you telling you exactly how they plan to take full control of your life, well, then you will get to experience the kind of life altering fear that Kelly and I did.

There has got to be an easier way for one to learn.

Honest Gun Owners

2012-02-26T04:56:00.000-08:00

Miller tagged me in a new gun meme, so here it goes...

"I will write down 5 things that indicate, to me, that a gun owner or shooter maybe is an honest one; I say 'maybe' because I have known some seemingly honest gun owners to tell some really tall tales. Then I will tag 5 other gun owners who are also bloggers and I hope each will play along, each listing, in their blogs, at least 3 things that are indicative a gun owner is an honest one, then sending the challenge of this meme on to 5 other gun owner who are also bloggers."

1. They never claim to know everything about everything.

2. The do not recommend, to a brand new female shooter, the Judge.

3. They send you private emails as to not publicly embarrass you when you say or do something stupid.

4. They try to give you more than they take from you.

5. They take things down about you if you ask them too.(Thanks Weer'd)

Five Blogs...

From Paranoid To Packin- this is personal. This is one of my shooting partners from the Cornered Cat class and she just started a blog, but she isn't really bloggin, so I am hoping a tag will jump start her and also a little blog pressure too. Go send her some love and tell her I sent you.

From Housewife to Hunter- Really neat blog. Also brand new.

AKGRRRL- She isn't posting much either because she is always on FB. It's wrong, just wrong, so again a little pressure.

Last Refuge of a Scoundrel-He posts and I like his blog.

A Midwestern Rebel-New blog to me and good stuff.

One more because I am practicing honing a skill I don't currently have...breaking the rules.
Monty On Guns

Misconceptions and Stereotypes

2012-02-24T11:03:00.001-08:00

I have mentioned before that I struggle a little with how much of my gun tottin' ways to keep under wraps and how much to let hang out. In the beginning I had no intention of ever letting anyone know I carried a gun. My plan was to lead a normal life and to not advertise that I pack heat.

The thing is I started to become an advocate for woman and carrying and, of course, I just plain love it. I tend to be an all or nothing kind of gal. There is very little gray in my world. When I am in, I am all in. I am extremely passionate and I am a doer. Not necessary 2 of the best qualities when trying to keep things on the down low. I keep telling myself that carrying a gun is just part of who I am and I need not make it my whole life, problem is, it is my whole life.

I enjoy other things and I can carrying on a non gun centered conversation, but if I had my choice, I would pretty much talk about my kids, food and guns. I love to shoot guns, I love to talk about them, I love to wear bullet necklaces. I am not trying to make a statement or be cool(done been verified that I am not), I just wholehearted love all things weaponry.

I also think we are living in a time where people who value their rights, not just to carry a gun, but certainly that, need to stand up and be accounted for. It is become a rubber meets the road kind of situation and blending quietly into the background just might earn us the right to stay silent and not much else.

So, as I said earlier in the week, my plan was to go to Memphis and blend in, but anytime anyone asked me what I was doing or what I enjoyed, out came GUNS, GUNS, GUNS. Ok, I was a little more subtle, but not much. Without fail 100% of the time the first thing anyone said to me after I said I was heading to Memphis for pleasure to a shooting course was...Are you in law enforcement? This did not bother me, much. I understand that women shooters are still in the minority and especially if they look like me. All I mean by that is a non descriptive plain ol' housewife. There is nothing that screams hunter or gun nut, except the gun, the 2nd Amendment T-shirt and bullet necklace, but I wasn't wearing any of those that day. The readers of this blog know that most people who shoot guns and hunt and are all nutty for firearms are regular people, but the rest of the world is not that well informed. We know that they might be surprised at who is part of a well regulated militia, but since they don't know what they don't know, I was not offended.

What did bother me were the people that thought I was "sweet as pie" and "just lovely" until they found out I like to shoot and at that point decided I was now a scary threat. Nothing changed about me, nothing. I never, not once whipped out my gun or started making threats. My squealing high pitched voice did not turn demonic and at no point did I attempt to sacrifice a small child and yet more than one person decided that by virtue of my gun, I was no longer a person who was afforded the right to be treated with decency or courtesy. I was fair game to be rude or insensitive to. I was not bothered in terms of how individual people viewed me as an individual. Being out of junior high, I kind of don't care much, but it did bother me as a whole. These people form opinions based on nothing more than fear and then go perpetuating a lie. That bothers me. Many of these folks vote and have influence over others and that makes them a threat to me, not the other way around.

Alas, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. The gentleman that picked me up from the airport was named Kevin. Kevin was the nicest man and he was full of opinions. He talked and talked and told stories and I loved every minute I spent with him. On Sunday, I needed to be picked up from Range Master and taken to the airport for my flight home. Kevin got my bags, put them in the car and then started talking to me about gun owners and those who carry permits.

Kevin: I don't understand all these new laws letting people carry guns. It's crazy.

Me: You are against laws that allow law abiding citizens the right to self protection?

Kevin: No, No, but there is so much crime in Memphis. Guns and killing every where. I don't think we need any more guns.

Me: Do you think the laws that are made to protect the innocent are contributing to the crime in Memphis?

Kevin: I think some people are just using the new laws to get guns and carry them places they are not allowed and then shooting people up.

Me: Do you think that there are a lot of criminals that are concerned with following the laws? Do you think the criminal needs a law in order to carry a gun into, say a bar and start a problem?

Kevin: Huh,

Me: Kevin, I would encourage you to look up the statistics of gun related shootings and see how many of those involved licensed conceal carry permit holders and of those shootings how many were used for the purpose of self defense. I am guessing you will find the number of licensed permit holders who commit crimes to be very low. Please then compare that number to the gun crimes committed by people without a license. You might be surprised at what you find.

Kevin: Huh, good point yes, good point. You know mam. I can do that. Yes, I will do that.

I have no way of knowing if he will or not check the numbers, but I tend to think he will. He seemed genuinely concerned and not like he was looking to just find a reason to justify his point of view.

Conversations like I had with the man from Starbucks and Kevin lend me to believe, I am probably not gonna be one of the quiet ones.

What's In a Name?

2012-02-23T05:37:00.000-08:00

When I first started blogging, well, not at first, but several months into it as more and more bloggers were visiting and commenting here and I was visiting their blogs more and more, the conversations with my husband started to take on a "Who's On First?" kind of feel.

Me: Babe, I went over to Weer'd's blog and he said...

Hubby: Is that the guy from that black list thing?

Me: Nope, that's North

Hubby: Oh right, the one who took you shooting and let you shoot his wife's 1911?.

Me: No, no, that's Newbius.

Hubby: I can't keep them straight. Your friends have strange names. Is anyone just named Bob? I am pretty sure that is why is his such a fan of going to the NC Gun Blog. He can remember Sean.

Then a funny thing started to happen. People started to give me nicknames. AGHAG, AGirl, there were those few over on Reddit, but lets skip those. Two of my favorite are Sweetie and Pretty Girl. When I read those 2, it brings a smile to my face much like Garand.

So, the other day I was over at North's blog and I read this. In the comment section He and Weer'd were discussing their wives and referring to them as Mrs. North and Mrs. Weer'd, which reminded me of Grumpy. Grumpy started calling my other have Mr. AGirl.

I was not entirely sure how my man would take to being called "AGirl" in any context. So, I asked him...

Hubby: Yeah, I'm gonna kick that guys ass.

Pretty sure he was joking though.

Cornered Cat Training

2012-02-22T06:18:00.000-08:00

A while back Girls With Guns sent me an email and in it she mentioned how fun it would be for The Cornered Cat to come to Virginia. I told her I thought that would be great fun and I asked her if she wanted me to look into it. Of course, was her answer.

My plan was to have Kathy Jackson come to Culpeper and hold a class at John's range.

I sent both John and Kathy an email to see if either of them were at all interested in doing a training. Both were and after months of working out all the details we have it set.

Cornered Cat Training will be held September 8-9 in Culpeper Virginia. This is a coed class. The cost of the 2 day course is $400 plus ammo. If you would like more information or if you are interested in attending you can email me at agirlandhergun@gmail.com I will send you the registration form. Once you return that form and make full payment, I will email you information on hotels in the area, directions to the range, supply list for the class, etc.

Payment can be made through the paypal button on this blog.

Stay tuned for some exiting news!!

Cornered Cat: Concealed Carry

Short:

The Cornered Cat: Concealed Carry – This two-day class provides 18 hours of classroom and range instruction, taking students from the shooting basics through intermediate skill levels. Discussion topics include how to choose and use holsters for concealed carry; gun safety; the self defense mindset; and legal aspects of using deadly force in self defense. On the range, participants will review the basics of defensive handgun work, beginning with the fundamentals of grip, stance, sights and trigger control. Once the fundamentals are covered, students learn to draw from concealment, reload, clear malfunctions, use cover, shoot with one hand only, use alternative aiming techniques, and shoot while moving. Prospective students must be familiar with their own firearms and be prepared to fire over 500 rounds during the weekend.

Chatty:

What happens in a Cornered Cat class? Lots of great stuff! In this two-day class, I work with people who are already basically familiar with their guns and help them reach a more confident skill level, so that handling the gun comes much more naturally to them. What do you do if the gun doesn't fire when you expect it to? How do you reload it efficiently? Can you stay hidden behind a doorway or a piece of furniture and still hit a bad guy? Can you hit the target while moving away from danger, or in low light? Should you even try? These are the types of questions we deal with, because they teach us how we might use the gun in the real world, not just for plinking at the range. These are tough topics, but important ones. After all, the real world includes innocent bystanders. We owe it to them to learn real-life skills, so we don't endanger others when we defend ourselves.

Speaking of the real world, my specialty is helping people find their own best carry method—the one that works with your actual lifestyle, not just something you can use on the range—so I bring a pile of holsters and other carry gear to class. We discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly concealed carry in a very no-nonsense and practical way. Cornered Cat isn't afraid to tackle the embarrassing questions you might not feel comfortable asking elsewhere, either! I know you have a life outside the range, and that you don't want to look all lumpy and bulgy, so I help you find a carry method that truly works for the way you actually live and we discuss the nitty-gritty of making that work for you.

Why am I offering a class like this? For most people, wouldn't a basic concealed carry class be enough? I sure don't think so. I think regular people truly need to learn more, and become better prepared to keep themselves safe and keep others safe. People who have known me awhile know how seriously I take my decision to carry, and how hard I worked to learn the things I felt I needed to know in order to do that safely. Without exaggerating, I can tell you that I've spent the last ten years of my life getting to a place where I could turn around and share those things with you—that's how strongly I believe that every person who owns a gun for self defense should know how to use it well. Using it well means you are less likely to endanger others and more likely to protect your own life without getting hurt.

My goal: by the end of this class, each student will be prepared to confidently, safely, and efficiently practice the techniques she is most likely to need if a criminal attacks her. After all, if a woman ever needs to use the gun for real, she should be able to think about how to solve the problem rather than fumbling around with her holster or wasting precious brain cells trying to remember how to manipulate the gun.

Although it's a serious topic and you will learn useful skills, we're also going to have a lot of fun together, and I don't want you to miss out.

Guess What??

2012-02-22T05:46:00.000-08:00

I am going to another training. I am very excited about this one because not only do I get to spend all day training, but I also get to finally meet a new friend face to face!

Several months ago Lynne from National Take Your Daughter To The Range Day sent me a lovely email and the two of us started emailing back and forth. We found that we have a lot in common, some good qualities like wanting to help women and some not so good life experiences. Lynne is one of those amazing women that you just want to spend time with. One day she told me she had read that I was giving up money that I had saved for my own training and that I was offering that money to a new shooter. Remember that little Give-A-Way I did? Hi Mrs. Groundhog. Well, she didn't want me to have to give up a training so she asked me if I would be interested in taking a course at the place where she instructs. I told her I would absolutely love to, but that I would pay my own way. She insisted that I not. We went back and forth on this, but eventually, I let her out nice me and I not so graciously accepted. As it turns out, when she told Evan Carson, President and Founder of Innovative Defensive Solutions, LLC, about me, he offered to let me take the course on him.

What is the course you ask...I am attending the NRA Basic Personal Protection In The Home Course.

So, this Saturday, I will be heading to Northern Virginia and adding to my resume another quality class taught by the one of the best. I will, of course, tell you all about it.

As an aside, I want to say that my life is getting a little tiny bit hectic. I am playing catch up from my trip to Memphis and I am no where near close to being caught up. It is vitally important to me that none of my "life" comes before my kiddos. Clearly, I believe training is paramount to my being able to stay alive, therefore, I can be a mommy for a good long time and is an important part of me being able to keep those little ones safe, but if I am not doing the right things...hugging, snuggling, reading, homework, making special meals and all that, being alive is not worth much. Please understand that I might be neglecting you all, for the next few weeks, but I will do my best not to.

I have another post on hold announcing an exciting venture(probably will post that later today) I am involved in. I also have 2 stories from 2 incredible women I have been wanting to share with you. I have about 5 blogs I want to mention and I have just given up doing a quote of the day, even though there are 6 or 7 a day I could post. Not sure when all of that will get taken care, but those are just a few things on my blog plate.

I am off to that life thing I have been talking about. Have a marvelous day!!!!

The Cornered Cat

2012-02-21T07:02:00.000-08:00

For a 2 day trip I have a surprisingly high number of things to tell you. There are far to many for a single post and with trying to catch up with the rest of my life and working on other non Cornered Cat posts, I have decided to write one overview post and then incorporate other aspects of the trip with later posts.

I was surprised at how not nervous I was. I kept waiting for the butterflies to develop and for me to break out in a cold sweat, but it never happened. I hate to fly, hate it. Well, I love to fly, but I am not fond of the plummeting to earth in a fiery blaze aspect of flying. I was flying alone to a place I had never been, other than driving through on my way somewhere else. I was meeting people I had never met and I was going to be training in front of them. I thought I would be nervous about how I would shoot, if I would embarrass myself or if I would be my typical self and just melt into the background.

I arrived at the airport and checked my in at the counter. I let them know I had an unloaded firearm I needed to declare and the man behind the counter got a blank stare. He was very, very nice, but he was not sure what to do, so I think he just started making things up. I had my gun partially broken down and in a locked box and in a separate locked box, I had one box of personal protection ammo. He insisted that I could not have ammo and my gun in the same suitcase. I assured him I could. He went on some diatribe about how if they were in the same suitcase someone could steal them and start shooting up the place. This was second man that I came in contact with who seemed terrified about my gun. Two more times he brought up how one of the workers in the back could gain access to my suitcase and have a full fledged rampage. I don't know his fellow workers, so I did not argue the point, but I did calmly repeat that I could in fact travel the way I was traveling. Finally, he decided to call TSA and they told him that it was fine. I could. Great. In hindsight, I should have printed out a copy of both the TSA rules as well as the guidelines for that specific airline.

I proceeded on to security and had my first naked body scan. I am not overly modest. Meaning if I am in a locker room with a bunch of other women I have no issue showering or changing even if I don't know them, but for some reason this scan made me feel a little violated. A while back, maybe 2 years ago, I had a friend bring up these scans and how she thought they were awful and I thought who cares? Friday, I kind of cared. Now, it was not a big deal. I did cry or get all embarrassed, but as I stood there with my hands over my head, I thought, this does not feel right.

My plan was not to tell anyone where I was going or what I was doing, not sure why, but I thought it best not to. That plan went out the window from the second I sat down on the first flight and did not end the entire trip. I sat down next to a very nice couple from Virginia who are on a grand adventure moving to the midwest. The usual chit chat...Hi, Nice to meet you. Traveling on business or pleasure? What are you doing in Memphis? That kind of thing. The husband has a carry licenses and likes to shoot and she is thinking about it. They have friends that shoot etc. As I waited for my next flight a man sat down next to me and we exchanged similar pleasantries. He owns several guns. A Sig, a Glock a Kahr etc. and he knew a lot about them. We discussed carry laws in different states and what not, but he has only shot about 20 rounds in his life. He is more of a collector he said. I just smiled. I have 6 or 7 other conversations like these all weekend long. One with my driver that I will tell you about later.

Made it to Memphis got picked up and headed to my hotel and then a very nice lady, Ericka, who reads my blog picked me up and we went for dinner. I have a lot to say about this woman, but it will have to wait, but I LOVE her. Kindness and generosity ooze from her every pore.

Lots happened that night, but lets skip to the next morning at the training. I walked into the room with Ericka and the only available seats were in the front, so up to the front we went. I held true to form and didn't say much of anything. I just sat there and listened to all the Kathy had to say. She gave the basic run down on safety and why we were all there. Gave us an overview of the day and then we headed to the range. She gave a demo on the draw from a holster and what she wanted us to do and then we partnered up and proceeded to run some drills. I don't want to brag here, but seriously, I was shooting like a champ. Both Ericka and I had shot several rounds into the same target from varying distances and our target had a nice tight little group. I would like to say here that I planned to take a lot of pictures, but I tend to get very serious at training and I just didn't do it. I took some, but not many. I did not feel nervous, but for the first time in months, I did revert back to my habit of taking several minutes between shots. Kathy walked up, whispered in my ear to trust myself and take the shot. I did and my accuracy improved.

Kathy is the perfect mix between caring, calm, supportive, gentle while being confident, strong, in control and tough. She is soft and funny. She is smart as heck and she is deeply passionate about women and their defense. I don't actually want to share to much about the stories she shared because they are her stories to tell(most you know how I feel about each person telling their own story) and if you are fortunate enough to take a class from her, I don't want to rob you of any of the experience, but I will say, I see a lot of similarities between me and her. I hate to speak for her, but I think she sees them too. She has mentioned a few things I have written that she could relate to or felt as well. She is a very connectable person, so everyone might have felt the same way.

I will say I was a tiny bit annoyed by the time we went to lunch because during both the classroom portion and the range time several woman were chit chatting laughing and making comments as Kathy spoke. Now, let me be clear, they were not doing anything wrong. Not being disruptive or bothersome to anyone but me. I realized I was annoyed and did some self analysis. I can be very type A and very serious when it comes to learning, especially something like this. My husband says I was born 30. Even though I think I have a sense of humor and am crazy hysterical(if I do say so myself), I do lean to the serious side. I have come a long way and can recognize the signs when I see them. I decided at lunch that I was going to relax and that it was ok to have fun.

When we got back into the classroom for the holster discussion, I forced myself to lighten up. I generally would never contribute to a lecture or offer my input on a subject I am not an expert in and I most certainly would not contradict a person in authority, so I was surprised when I did just that. Kathy was sharing her knowledge and experience with holsters and she came upon a holster she does not like, at all. She was very clear and I sat there listening, but it happens to be a style of holster I use daily and like and I thought just stay quiet it doesn't matter. People have different opinions, it's fine, but then I thought, stop being such a puss, just say something. And I did . I raised my hand and expressed my opinion. We had a nice little exchange and while I do not think either of us changed the other's mind, it was fine. I have been practicing this idea of sharing my thoughts even when it differs from others. Mostly on other gun sites and while I have no desire to become confrontational and I still believe often times it is better to just move on, I think one should not keep quiet out of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of anything. I am not a fan of fear.

There is a ton more to tell, but again lets skip to day two. First thing in the morning Kathy announced that we were going to switch partners and I was none to pleased. Not so much because I didn't want to shoot with the other ladies, but the grown adult in me does not like being treated like a 5 year old. I am a walking contradiction. In many ways, I do exactly what I am told and at the same time, I really do not like being told what to do. Not my class, so, of course, I didn't argue. I am not in anyway willing to concede that Kathy was right:) BUT, I was thrilled with the partner I got. I am betting that no matter who I would have been paired with, I would be typing the same thing, but this woman, my partner, is something special.

I was first up to shoot and she was very keenly aware of every move I made. After each shot(in the beginning), she offered helpful tips, ideas, suggestions and was very encouraging as well. When it was her turn I offered a suggestion or two and she was receptive and incorporated them and we both benefited from our time together.

Day two was a lot more shooting and while I had done most of the drills, one thing I had never down was shoot from cover(can stop a bullet). It was really concealment(can't stop a bullet), but we set the scene and the scene was that were behind a concrete structure of some kind. It felt odd and I did have my first little flicker of butterflies as I held my hand against the "wall" and tilled my gun about 5 degrees. The whistle blew and I shot 6 consecutive shoots down range, dead center mass in a smaller than fist size group. Nice!!

My partner is an excellent shot. Her groups are ALWAYS, nice and tiny and frankly it is annoying, so I was shocked when it was her turn, the whistle blew, she took one shot and the hole was at the bottom of the target. She holstered her gun, called me over and said, I closed my eyes. We both laughed and discussed how awkward the positioning was. I think also it was uncomfortable since we were standing out the booth and could see the person next us. I see the person next to me at the outdoor range, but there is something about being told repeatedly not to take your gun outside of the booth and then taking your gun outside of the booth that is creepy. It felt that weird.

Round two, she aimed, the whistle blew and 6 shots bam, bam, bam...perfectly placed. She holstered, I walked up to her and whispered. You are a very good shot when you keep your eyes open. Again, we laughed.

Again lunch and again range time and then classroom discussion. I had to leave early in order to catch my flight, but the portion I got to hear was very useful. Day two's presentation was on legal issues and mindset. I heard most of it before, but Kathy offers some unique insight. It was the first time I shared any hint about what had happened to me.

Kathy was talking about the 3 elements that must be present in order to have a good legal case. Basically, was the person showing that he was intending to cause you grave harm, did the person have the ability to inflict such harm and would any reasonable person agree that this person was in fact going act.

Since my attack, I have always believed that if I was ever in that situation again, I would shoot the guy before he could grab me, but as Kathy was explaining all the different scenarios that would be acceptable, I panicked, She gave examples of a guy with a gun or a knife or disparaging size. She gave examples of a guy making threats and yelling and as she did, I got sicker and sicker to my stomach.

My bad guy didn't do any of that. To my knowledge he did not have a weapon and he did not say anything threatening. He kept saying over and over, I don't want to scare you. I am not going to hurt you. Although, those words terrified me, how could I prove to a court of law that when he used those words, his intent was to harm me. I knew in ever fiber of my being that he was going to hurt me. I knew the minute I saw him and yet, I had no proof. I thought, my God, I couldn't have stopped him.

I raised my hand and tried to speak, but I could not. The words would not come out. I sat there trembling for a few minutes with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. Ericka reached out and wrapped her arm around me and I heard a voice behind me say, your ok., I finally was able to compose myself and asked her, My bad guy wasn't any of those things. There was no legal proof that he was going to hurt me until he did. When could I have shot him?

I was not crying because I was traumatized by the memory or by telling the story or even by the what this guy did. I was rendered speechless as I thought holy crap, I have been working off the premise that in the same situation, I could end things before he got his hands on me, before he knocked me to the ground, before... Now, I wasn't so sure and that scared me.

Kathy knelt down, grabbed my hands and said I could have shot him before he grabbed me. She acted out what the right thing to do is...yell STOP and GET BACK(which I know) and then if he kept coming, that was the threat and I had enough cause to shoot.

I did tell him to stop, although not with enough force and he did, but then he would tell me he didn't want to scare me and he would take a few more steps towards me.

Later that night on the plane, I played that conversation over in my mind and I remembered that John has told me the same thing. If I told the guy to stop, he should have stopped and if he didn't his plan for me is not a good one and that was enough to use deadly force. I can not explain why my mind went blank and why I had forgot that. I think it was my mind preparing me for the next part of my healing.

I sat there with my eyes closed I replayed the entire attack in my mind over and over. Piece by piece. I could see every single detail in slow motion. My mind had never let me accept that there was plenty of things I could have done to avoid the attack all together.

When I saw that man walking across the parking lot, I knew instantly he was a bad guy. I have seen lots of men in a parking lot before and I have even been alone with them in elevators and have not been afraid. When he first started towards me I remember, now, that there were other cars. As I thought about that day, I could see clearly that they were pulling out of their spots. 3 of them. When I first saw the bad guy, I was not more than 6 or 7 seven feet from the entrance to the store. I kept walking to my car. Farther and farther a way from safety. I had eye contact with him the whole time and consciously, I thought, "I am in trouble" I was making a plan for my daughter's safety. I had accepted that something bad was going to happen. I have never admitted it was something I could have prevented. The minute I saw him, the minute I felt uneasy, I should have turned around and gone into the store. I should have gone back into the store. Done, finished, end of story.

I didn't and if you have been reading this blog long then you know why and all the reason and all the gory details, that I won't go over again, but my work, my plan has always been dealing with the attack at the point where I tell him to stop and he doesn't stop. I had not accepted responsibility for the fact that I could have stopped the attack before I ever would have needed to draw my gun.

Listen to me clearly...THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT. I should be able to blindly walk to my car without a care in the world without fearing for my life. NO ONE has the right to harm me ever, for any reason, regardless of my situational awareness.

I am not blaming myself or feeling guilty, but since there are mean vicious assholes in the world, it is in my best interest to see my attack, every detail for the reality that it was, so I can do better in the future to keep myself and my children safe.

Bit by bit my mind lets me see more and more and brings people and events into my life so when I am ready I can handle the next part, not only so I can a heal more fully, but so I can be more prepared and more capable.

It was a good weekend.

P.S. someone emailed me and asked me why I lowered myself to cussing. I am not going to address the crass way in which someone chose to address me, but I will explain. I am getting tired of saying "bad guy". It implies that he was just not nice. It comes across like he attempted to steal my parking spot instead of my money, my body, my spirit. I have shared much of that day, but not every detail. Not every word he uttered once he grabbed me, not the images my daughter saw, not every mark he left on me. This was not a nice guy. He was more than a bad guy. He was mean and cold and he hurt me, deeply. He is a monster and I feel that vicious asshole is quite appropriate..

Get Ready

2012-02-19T16:31:00.000-08:00

i am sitting in the airport waiting to board my plane home and I am totally exhausted. I have so much to tell you all...so much. I might be like a kid with a new toy at Christmas, unable to talk about anything else.

For now, let me say I had a life time of experiences this weekend and not all of them were on the range.

To be expected Kathy was calm, confident, smart, funny, a wealth of information and a darn good shot. Not that I am qualified to evaluate, but anytime someone shoots countless rounds while talking and teaching and seems to place each round in the same small hole...well, that is a good shot.

My letter about the gun community just keeps getting reaffirmed and reaffirmed. The women I met were incredible. Not the polite kind one is obligated to say after such events, but the kind that makes me wish I lived closer to these women. All were a blessing and were sweet as could be, but a few in particular made a permanent mark on my heart.

Ok, plane is getting ready to board. I missed you all. Can't wait to catch up on all your blogs tomorrow!!

A New Adventure

2012-02-15T10:03:00.000-08:00

Friday morning I am heading to Tennessee for a 2 day shooting course at Range Master taught by Kathy Jackson.

I am really excited about heading out on this trip. I will be experiencing a whole bunch of firsts. It is the first time I will be flying with a firearm. I have been reading and checking the rules on how to do this and Tom at Range Master did give me the sound advice of NOT walking up to the counter and saying "I have a gun." Seems obvious, but I am little nervous, so I am glad he thought to mention it.

It is also the first time I will be training with anyone other than John. It will be my first time training without my handy dandy back up man aka my husband. It is the first time I have ever traveled by myself. I know, crazy, but true. I have flown by myself to meet friends, but I have never flown by myself to a new destination and done the whole deal on my own.

Surprisingly, except for the flying part, I am calm, not nervous at all and really looking forward to learning, improving and meeting some new people. It's gonna be fun, fun, fun!

My husband has a friend who is a retired Marine and former sniper. He is lending me some of his gear, which is crazy cool. I am hoping some of his mad dog skills are captured in the fibers and will be released to me once I strap on his holster. I think proficiency has something to do with practice and technique, but a girl can dream.

I have been working on some exciting things for the past couple of months that I will be sharing with you when I get back. Can't wait!

I am thinking I will not be blogging much for the next 3 or 4 days, but will probably have time to pop an update or two on my FB, if you are interested. I hope you do pop on over and leave me a comment or two. I have grown very fond of reading your blogs and seeing what is going on in your lives and hearing what you have to say about mine. I will miss that.

Otherwise, I will chat with you when I get back. Have a fabulous time! Stay Safe!!

It's Valentines Day!!

2012-02-14T14:07:00.000-08:00

My day has been crazy busy doing the mom thing. I love to celebrate holidays. Actually, I love any reason to do something special for the people I love. Not that I need one. I have been known to throw pancake parties in the middle of the night with full on crystal goblets filled with orange juice and french toast served on my best China for no other reason than we couldn't sleep, but still I love the formality of a day that I get to spoil those that matter to me. Point being, I have been busy trying to make this a special day for my kiddos to include time at their school and so I have not had much time to do anything else, BUT, I did make time to go to Starbucks.

I like for my 13 year to learn the lessons of life by example, so I kept her home this morning and she ran up to our local Starbucks to grab a cup of joe with me.

This, like most pictures of me is dorky, but hey, I didn't have time for a photo shoot. Being subtle is very important to me, so I opened carried, wore my 2nd Amendment shirt and a necklace made from a bullet.

Once at the counter the manager came over and asked "what us fine ladies were up to". I responded that we were here to support our local Starbucks. She said, "I am good with that" "Appreciate your business" and smiled. Excellent!

As my daughter and I waited for our order I noticed an older gentleman checking out my backside. I was flattered for a second, but then realized it was my Glock that caught his eye. Here was our discussion...

Him-That is a pistol on your hip.

Me- Yes, it is.

Him- Scary.

Me- It's not scary. I know how to use it, your safe.

Him- I bet.

He looked very uncomfortable and honestly like he was afraid. A few minutes later he started to talk to me again.

Him- Can I ask you a question?

Me- Sure.

Him- I heard that these places are gonna allow beer and wine pretty soon, would you be allowed to bring that gun in here if they do?

Me- Yes, in Virginia I would be allowed to carry my gun into a place that serves alcohol, but that might not be the case in other states, depends on their laws. Of course, it would be irresponsible for someone to be drunk and have a gun and I am not aware of any gun owners that would behave in such an irresponsible way.

He smiles, looks at my gun again, smiles at me, looks at my daughter, grabs his coffee and says thanks.

My son and his his wife went to a different Starbucks and that manager was not aware that anyone was boycotting or buycotting them.

I went to 2 other locations and one also was not aware of any boycott/buycott and the other one was only aware of the buycott. That manager had no clue that it was spurred by the anti gun people trying to strong arm them. I am gonna call that a win for my town.

Go to Weer'd World to check out more on this subject.

A Friend Helping A Friend, Helping A Friend

2012-02-14T05:18:00.000-08:00

In case the title wasn't clear, I need a little help from all of you. Everyone's feisty and loveable Erin over at Lurking Rhythmically asked me if I knew of anyone who might be selling a 9mm Glock, either a 17, 19, or a 26. She, like most of us is budget conscious and could use a deal.

I didn't know of anyone off the top of my head, so I thought I would post here and see if we could help her out. If not a specific person, maybe there is a reputable forum or firearms trading site that she could be pointed to.

I know she would be extremely grateful for any and all assistance!! Thanks!!!!!

I Wil Call Her...

2012-02-13T17:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, real quick. I loved all the names and I can not tell you how much I appreciated everyone giving me their thoughts and input. Really, it meant a lot to me.

I wanted a name that had meaning both historically to the gun and to me personally. Several suggestions fit one or the other, but only one fit both. I had two readers suggest the name I picked. One left a comment on the blog and one sent me an email. I will send them both a box of chocolate.

The name I chose is Anastasiya. I will use the traditional Russian spelling and it means "resurrection" It is defined as "the literal coming back to life".

I don't think I need to say anymore.

Chris in TX email me your address to agirlandhergun@gmail.com

Still Smiling

2012-02-13T06:25:00.000-08:00

As I said in yesterday's post, I went to a gun show on Saturday. John, my man and I met up and began our pilgrimage. We only made it about 3 tables in when I decided I would be making an impulse buy. I have discovered that I love old guns. I love their history, I love their feel and I love their look: the beat up, I have been used, I have a story to tell sheen. No surprise then that the Mosin Nagant would catch my eye. Once John started to tell me about them, I was hooked. John has a system where he likes to go up and down the aisles and take mental notes of the things that interest him and then return to the booth that had the best price. My man and I have no system whatsoever. We wonder aimlessly, eating beef jerky and hoping we don't get screwed. John's plan seemed better, so we went along with it. The problem being, I really could not focus. I just kept thinking about that Mosin. We had made good progress and learned a ton of useful info plus had purchased a flashlight, some beef jerky and ran into friends I had not seen in a while. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, but getting quite antsy. About half way through I exclaimed, "I want that gun". My man said "Go for it" and John said, then "then lets do it." We all high tailed it back to the booth which turned out to be perfect timing. There were 3 in the box and within 2 seconds of us picking one up, the others had vanished. I think it was a God thing. Now, I really wanted to buy this gun for myself, but I had left my drivers license and Conceal Carry permit in my range bag back home(I was not carrying or driving, so no laws were broken), so that fine man of mine offered to fill out the paperwork and jump through the hoops to bring that beauty home.

The Mosin Nagant is a rather larger gun and I got a good deal of attention carrying it through the expo center. Many a folks stopped us to chit about it or ask questions. As we were leaving one guy said,

"That is a might large gun, for a little thing like you."

I said, "No, worries, I can handle it."

His friend said, "I am not coming onto your property".

"You can come". "Just knock first." I told him

"I'll knock twice", he whispered.

I walked on by with a big ol" smile and a bit of a spring in my step.

I spent much of that evening caressing her and squealing like, well, a girl. I tried to get my husband to let me sleep with it, but he said, nope. He had done enough of that in the Corps. Truth be told, I think I could have convinced him, but, it's probably not a good habit to get into.

Since I am spoiled and blessed beyond belief, I did not have to wait long to shoot her. Yesterday that man of mine and our son met John and a few of his friends at the range. I have to mention here that this has been a very mild winter in Virginia. No snow to speak of and pretty much the temps have been hanging out around 55-60 degrees. However, on Sunday, we woke up to windy, bitterly cold temps of around 29 degrees. At this point I would like to state all the training in real world conditions crap that Duke and Stephen were espousing last week...HIGHLY overrated. Don't do it. Stick to paper targets at indoor ranges with heaters and RSO's that serve you steaming hot cups of coffee in between magazine changes.

I wore long john type pants under my famous black jeans, 2 pairs of socks, boots, a t-shirt, a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie and my large winter coat, plus a scarf and gloves and I was still a Popsicle. Mostly just my hands. The gloves were not helpful, plus to shoot I took them off. Cold is not my friend, but it did eventual warm up to temperatures that were bearable.

You all know how I feel about gunnie's. Smart, kind, generous, funny... Well the people John brought to the range on Sunday were no exception. I did ask if I could share pictures, but I forgot to ask if I could share names, so we will just call them Mr. & Mrs. Awesome. There was one other gentleman there, but he did not stay long, so unfortunately, I didn't get to know him. Mr. Awesome had a 1911 and an AR 15 chambered in. 6.8 or 6.5 (I think, I can't remember. It was a new caliber for me and so much to learn) Mrs. Awesome had a 9mm S&W M&P and an AR 15 chambered in the more common .223. Because they are awesome they let me shoot their guns. I think I was still getting ready to take the shot in these pictures, but...

My husband and son thought Mrs. Awesome's AR was the best set up they had ever shot. I am still getting to know guns and don't have a feel for all the little intricacies, so I liked them both the same. Mr. Awesome's was heavier, but it felt more comfortable in my hand. I believe hers was shorter(I don't know if it was a carbine, but it was smaller in length than her husband's) and I am tall drink of water, so that might have been why.

And, of course, we all shot the Mosin Nagant. I was a little nervous to shoot her. Not butterflies in my stomach nervous, just a little curious as to how it would feel. A young kid at the gun show told me he had shot about 15 rounds out of his and woke up to a black and blue shoulder and John said the Nagant kicks about 1/3 more than the Garand, so I wondered if I would be in pain.

I did not think the kick was a big deal at all. This is going to come as a huge shock to everyone. You may want to sit down for this revelation, but I discovered while I love the look of this gun, shooting it was, well, FLIPPIN AMAZING!!! I LOVED IT!! Oh, my, oh my, oh my, it was pure bliss. I shot about 20 rounds yesterday and enjoyed every single one. I did wake up this morning with some slight soreness in my left shoulder, It feels like when I up my weights on the fly machine at the gym. I am not black and blue which kinds of bums me out. I was hoping to show you all how tough I am.

Although my shoulder is fine, I did take several good hunks of flesh out of my thumb working the bolt action. I am left handed, so my left hand sits on the butt stock(not sure what it is called) , so when I pull the bold back it very nicely slides right over my thumb, taking a piece of me with it. I am gonna have to practice and find a new way to work the action.

Mr. & Mrs. Awesome. This is my favorite picture.

A few last notes...if you don't understand the title of my last two posts, go here. Also, I was informed that rifles are girls and they must be named. I was not aware of this, but who am I to buck the system. I am going to steal my friend Lynne's idea and ask for help from all of you. Please give me your suggestion for what her name should be and if I decide to use the name you suggested, I will send you this as a little thank you.

Operation Smile Lines

2012-02-12T12:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to the gun show with John and my hubby. We were on a mission for magazines for my 9mm M&P and other items I might need for an upcoming training. Also, I had never been to a big gun show, so it was time I put a check in that box. If you have been with me for any amount of time, then you know two things happen every time I attend a gun show. I buy a ton of beef jerky and I have a habit of accidentally stealing things. I have turned myself well before the po po shows up and I always pay for said items in full. Still, I have been trying to break this habit of mine. I may well have succeeded, too. Yesterday was the second gun show in a row that I did not steal a single thing. Impressive I know. That is the good news, but it gets better...I bought some stuff.

My Favorite Jerky

A New Shirt

A New Flashlight


Some Ammo For

1943 Mosin Nagant

*I did get to the range today and I did shoot this baby. Met some amazing people. I will tell you all about both tomorrow.

More on Training

2012-02-10T06:33:00.000-08:00

I have been so excited to see so many posts on training. You might have suspected that I am a big fan of it.

Yesterday I read a post by Duke over at Down Range Report. There is so much good information contained in that one post, I had to read it a couple of times to fully digest it. In the comments Stephen from Standing Outside Looking In made reference to how vital training in a real world type environment is. I agree, of course, but I mentioned that even without intense training people can sometimes beat the bad guy. I did very little right and I am proof that sometime luck is on your side.

Their point is that, yes, one can beat the odds from time to time and for whatever reason make it out of a hairy situation, but the more training one has the more likely they will be in control of the situation and can rely on skill over luck. That could not be more true.

I only mentioned the fact that there are times when people who have no skill or relatively little experience with a gun, have been able to thwart an attack, because I wanted those just starting out on this journey to know mindset is an important part of training. Mindset has become an obsession of mine. No matter where anyone is on this journey, I want them to know, without a doubt, they can survive. Gun fight, knife fight, fist fight, zombie invasion, no matter what the odds, you will survive. Incidentally, Nancy R has a brilliant post on being on this journey.

For the record, I know Duke and Stephen both are aware of the importance of mindset. In fact, I learned everything I know from people like them.

This morning I read an post by JD that lays out all of these points pretty well. Train, train, train and train some more because you never know what might happen, but regardless, you still might need a little luck.

My Man

2012-02-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

I get a lot of emails asking about my husband. Some are just curious about his time as a Marine or how we met. Some are more invasive. A few boldly ask me if he went out to kill the bad guy or why he isn't more involved in my training.

I appreciate the emails and the questions and I realize I put myself out there and that is going to open me up to a lot of things, but what I write on this blog is not the complete picture of our lives. My husband is a very private person. He is a man of few words and has absolutely zero desire to be in the limelight. Actually, until this blog, I was also very private and we are both surprised at how much I share here. I have had more than one of my closest friends contact me and be actually concerned for my mental state because sharing so much is extremely uncharacteristic. My oldest son has said on more than one occasion, "Who are you?" "Growing up you wouldn't even let me tell people we know, where we live."(I still don't do that) I have personal FB page that has around 40 people. For the longest time it had 20, but I have added some of my new shooting buddies to the group. The point being, the people on there are my actual friends(a few are new friends) that I share my life with, but outside of that, few people know much about us. You all know way more about me than people I interact with everyday. If you have been with me from the beginning then you know the evolution and how I became to be more open and why I have chosen to share so much here, but what I share is about my journey, not his.

Having said that, I will tell you a little bit about him. He is smokin hot. He has calves to die for. I have been married to him for 22 years and he makes my knees go weak every time he walks through the door. It's a cliche, but it's true.

He is brilliant. He really is. He is loyal. His friends, his children and his Marines will tell you that. He is cool, calm, and collected almost all the time. He does have a temper, I have heard. A Marine or two has been on the wrong end of that and needless to say, he rarely has repeat offenders. He is enormously kind and intensely protective. He has saved me a million times over. He is strong and brave. He has an inner calm that steadies me. I never feel more safe or nurtured than when I am with him. He is very in tune to me. After our daughter made the revelation that more happened that day than I had originally shared, he said he knew. He didn't know what had happened, but he knew there was more to the story. He never asked, not once. He said it wasn't important for him to know anything until I was ready. His said his job is to protect me, care for me, to help me find my way back and he didn't need any details to know how to that.

We have never talked about it, but I assume after I was mugged, he had some anger and a desire to make that problem go away for me, but he never said so. He never once lost his temper or exclaimed that he was off to find the guy and beat him to a pulp. His focus was on me. Revenge, there is no way that would have been healing for me. He has had the sole role of protector for 20 years and he relishes in it. He loves to take care of me from doing everything he can to be sure no one causes me an ounce of pain(totally unrealistic which is why he helps me learn to do it for myself) to bringing me coffee, every single morning. I imagine watching me go off on my own has been hard on him, but if it has, he has given no indication. He has been my biggest supporter.

He is the funniest person I know. We have serious conversations, of course, but 99% of our time is spent laughing til we cry. Honestly, I laugh that hard, everyday. I love my friends and I love doing things on my own, but if you asked me my favorite thing in the world to do, it would be hanging with him, regardless of what, I would rather be doing it with him. Although, if I got to pick, we would be out shooting somewhere. Just for the record, he is a darn good shot. I am not just braggin' here, the dude can shoot. It's annoying.

That is pretty much my man.

She's A Real Animal

2012-02-09T05:59:00.000-08:00

(This is not the most recent picture of her)

I want to share a little more info on our Give-A-Way winner. She is the wife of a gun blogger. Our own Groundhog, which makes our winner Mrs. Groundhog!! Mrs. Groundhog and her main quadruped live in Texas and although he is quite the shooter, she is just starting out on her journey. Mrs. Groundhog was never scared of guns, but she was also not comfortable around them. Unfortunately, her family was affected by gun violence. Not the kind of gun violence where you would light a candle, but the kind that makes your blood boil and you think, I need to do something to keep this from happening, kind of gun violence. Her sister was shot in the head. I believe Goundhog has written about this on his site, but I am hoping Mrs. Groundhog will write a post of her own to share here. Sometime after that incident, they began seriously exploring their self defense options and both obtained their CHL(concealed handgun license).

In the beginning our winner accompanied her husband to the range as a way to spend time with him, but little by little she got the bug...they always do:) Like many of us she is a little more experienced in age than in shooting. She is 52 and yes, she knows I am telling you all that. Although, she has spent sometime shooting with her gun, she has had no formal training and hasn't been to the range in over a year. We are aiming to fix that, again no pun intended. She adheres to my life philosophy and she carries a big gun: a Glock 17. For those of you who may not be familiar with this particular gun, it is a full sized(??) gun chambered in 9mm. That is her only gear, well, until now. She has a whole heck of a lot of gear coming her way. I have spoke with her and her husband by email and phone and they both are delightful. This has been such a blast and getting to know her more is gonna be a treat for me.

I know you all will be following along on her journey. Both Groundhog and I will be posting and sharing with all of you. Lets be her biggest cheerleaders and encourage her with every step she takes!!

That Texas Lady

2012-02-08T10:45:00.000-08:00

That Texas Lady got 20,000 blog views in a single day. That is a lot of views for one day. I guess people know a good thing when they see it. To celebrate she has a little Give-A-Way. If you live in her neck of the woods or are willing to travel, head on over to her page and check it out.

Tidbits

2012-02-08T05:44:00.000-08:00

I want to clear up a few things...

First, I don't mind at all when people share my story or posts I write. I appreciate when people ask, but my site is public and anyone can read it, so it's free game.

Second, I don't want anyone to change their post for me. I know that occasionally I have mentioned that I read a post that was difficult for me to read, but that doesn't mean I want it gone. My story is tough for me to tell and sometimes it is tough for me to read about, but I think it needs to be told. The number of emails I get every single day telling me that sharing my story and my journey has been beneficial to someone is staggering, at least to me. There are days that I get sick of sharing it and days that I think does anyone really want to read one more post about how I managed to get through the day or do they have any interest in my latest breakthrough. The answer is yes. This is not universally true. All you have to do is visit a few forums to find out I annoy the heck out of some folks, but they are not the ones emailing. The men and women emailing find some sense of comfort and strength in my story and they are why I keep sharing. I know what it is like to be lost and to have people reach out. I know how incredible healing it is to have someone, even a person you don't know, reach out and say your not alone and I care. Other than my internal strength that was hiding deep inside of me, the people who cared for me, their love is what inspired me not to wallow in self pity, but instead to flourish and grow. I mention the posts that are hard for me because I want to be authentic. The more people who share my story from their prospective, the more people who will be touched. I don't believe anyone is being malicious when they write about me, well not the people I write about on here anyway, and I don't want anyone to stifle their writing to protect me. As you all have pointed out, I am tougher than I think. I can take it. If you write something I think I can't handle I will send you a little note and we can discuss it, but I don't anticipate that ever happening. If you come here and read something I haven't written discussing your post about me, please do not apologize or change it. I wouldn't be sending people your way if I didn't think what you wrote had merit. However, to the men that have contacted me on different occasions to offer to change something or to offer comfort for possibly making me uncomfortable, you are true gentleman and I could not respect you more. Thank you.

Thirdly, there is a new blogger who had decided to use A Girl and Her Gun as her blog name. Since I had no plans of becoming a blogger, I never purchased the domain name, so she is free to do so. I did submit paperwork to trademark, but that is a process. Just wanted to let you know that this is my site. I didn't change anything, so if you happen upon another blog with my name, it isn't me. Of course, you all have free will to visit any blog you want, but it would kill me if you called her AGirl:) I did try to contact her just to let her know that I am here, but she never responded. I am sure she is a lovely gal and I wish her no ill will and her blog is probably great, but I do think it is a little rude to use a name already being used. Not sure how anyone will know who is who on the GBBL.

Lastly, I have been working on some very exciting things that I hope to be announcing very soon!!!!

Evyl Robot Contest

2012-02-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

If you have not been to the Evyl Robot Soapbox blog you are missing out. Much like his wife, he is smart, crazy funny and right now he is having a very unique Give-A-Way for a Madison Rising CD.

I believe the contest will run until Friday, so DO NOT delay...go, now, yes right now...GO.

Full Circle

2012-02-07T05:46:00.000-08:00

Saturday morning I got up before the others in my house and did what I usually do these days when I have a few extra minutes, I visited my favorite blogs.

I popped over to Last Refuge Of A Scoundrel and read this. I wasn't expecting the post to be about me and what I read I didn't like. The post is very good and the words are true, but I didn't like that he was taking about me, that I didn't fight for my life. I am long since over the anger and the guilt, but every so often I read something or hear something and it makes me go "Ugh, I can't believe that was me". I clicked off, put my Ipad down and got ready for my day.

I went off to train with my husband, John and a few of his friends. If you read my post then you know I had a somewhat intense drill session. Even though it was intense, it was good. I left the range that day knowing I was not the same person I was 11 months ago. I have had glimpses of my growth, of course, and I have believed that I would fight and fight hard should I ever be in a similar situation, but until Saturday, I didn't know. It was exhilarating for me. I left that day feeling confident and calmer in a way that I can not explain.

When I got in the car that evening to come home I checked my email and had a message from Brigid that simple said "This mornings post was inspired by you". "I hope you enjoy it". I love everything she writes, so I could not get to her page fast enough. As I read the post, I pictured myself in her story. The mind is funny. It does what we tell it, not the other way around. If we tell our minds long enough we are something it begins to react as if that is the truth. As I have said before, it lies. I had been telling myself for so long that I was quiet and weak that even after my 11 month journey, I still saw myself as the girl in the kitchen. It wasn't until the second time that I read it, that I had a tear stream down my check and I said to my husband, "I am NOT the girl in the kitchen." I am the girl with the gun." I AM the girl with the gun". Then I started to laugh. I did not know she was writing that post and she did not know I was at the range or what had happened.

I don't think it was a coincidence that everything that happened on Saturday happened. I woke in the morning, the beginning of my day and read a post about me being a victim, in the afternoon, I took steps to assure that I would never be one again, that evening, I read a post about a girl who is confident and strong and it was the day I gave a way a training to another woman. Kind of felt like Saturday was a metaphor for the past year. I was a victim, I fought back, I overcame and I passed it on.

Yesterday I went to Sharp as a Marble and read a post Robb put up about me shooting the Garand. I left a comment and today he made it his quote of the day and he said."...she is definitely one of us now." Yes, yes, I am and his words made me smile big time. Thanks Robb.

She Contacted Me!!!

2012-02-06T15:55:00.001-08:00

Our winner contacted me!! I will have details forthcoming, but I wanted everyone to know, we actually have a winner!,

And The Winner Is Take Two...

2012-02-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Mrs. Goundhog!!! Please contact me ASAP at agirlandhergun@gmail.com I can't wait to hear from you!

P.S. Lets all send out good thoughts to Leeann-JsMe, our first selection. I am hoping she just forgot to check back and that everything is well with her.

The Give-A-Way...again

2012-02-06T11:26:00.000-08:00

I hate to do it, but I have not heard from our winner and no one seems to know her, so if I have not heard from her by 5pm Eastern Standard Time this evening, I will draw a new winner. My plan was to wait until tomorrow to give her another full day, but I have 2 sick kids and my next few weeks, months really are crazy busy, so I need to wrap this thing up.

Check back at 5pm(EST)to either see that I have heard from her or to see the new winner.

There are 2 other Give-A-Ways, I would like to tell you about...

Mag40 Training- This looks excellent. It is an expensive course and I would love to attend, but I am not comfortable with the format of the contest, but it would be a great opportunity for someone.

Julie Golob-I actual entered this one. I never enter contest, but I really love the 2 necklaces and since Uncle Sam is getting about $8000 of my fun money this year, I don't think jewelry is in my future. As I said on my FaceBook page, my luck is not good, so do not consider me a threat and GO ENTER. However if you win, feel free to send me one of the necklaces:)

A Day At The Rage- Part 2 & Other Stuff

2012-02-06T05:53:00.000-08:00

I shot my M&P most of the day and she preformed well. I had a number of light strikes which concerns me, so I need to get that cheeked out. I am not a fan of the sites either. The huge white dots are messing me up. My groupings are ok, but I am shooting lower than where I think I am aiming.

3 yards-(This was pretty good, but it's 3 yards, so)

5 yards. Two separate sessions.

7 yards

We also took her back to the 10, 15, and 25 yard lines. It got very busy and I was focused on what I was doing, so no pictures, but the gun did fine. It is not a precision weapon, so no little tiny groups, but I still could kill someone from that distance, I do believe. However, if I really wanted to do some damage, I think I would use this...


The M1 Garand

This is the first time I have ever heard about this weapon, so, of course, it was the first time I shot one. LOVE IT!!! I love everything about this gun. I love the look, I love the history, I love how it felt in my hands and I loved the power against my shoulder.

As an aside, we shot for probably 2 hours, then the whole reenactment type drill which felt like 10 minutes to me, but was probably 3, then we immediately went on to the long guns. The second that drill was over, I was good. I have had some people email me privately with concerns that the drill might have crossed a line. I don't know, but I do want everyone to know that honestly, I am fine. I had no repercussions at all. The drill was done and I could not wait to get my hands on the next gun. We shot for 2 more hours and I had a blast. Slept like a baby for the past 2 nights and I feel more confident then ever. Let me also say, how blessed I am that you care enough to send me a note of concern. That touched me deeply.

Ok, back to the guns...

Right after I shot the M1, I shot an AR-15 chambered in .22. I have shot several .22's before, so I knew there was no kick, but I still prepared for one and it was a shock when it was just a little tiny kitten sneeze(that is how one of the shooters described it) that came out the other end. Even though there was no real power, I loved shooting that gun. As everyone in this community knows, gun people are very generous. Some of the other people there that day brought their guns(they prefer not to be outed on the blog) and were so unbelievably kind to me. So supportive and strong and amazing.

One person had an AR 15chambered in .223, I think, I didn't ask. Anyway, it was set up in what I would describe as a tactical mode. I felt tougher just holding the thing(I know it is not politically correct to say that. I know the gun isn't suppose to make you feel anyway, but I am not that evolved:). The owner took the time to explain all kind of things to me and then let me go. Crazy cool!

Last time I was at the range with John, I only got to touch the LaRue(AR-15). This time I got to shoot it...yep, loved it!

Someone emailed me and asked if I only own one pair of pants because the black ones are all they every see me in...lol Yes and no. I do, in fact, own other pants, but none that I want to get messed up. I am not or haven't been a real outdoorsy kind of gal. I mean, I have enjoyed camping and hiking for years, but I haven't had a real need for outdoor gear and since I would rather spend my money on guns, ammo and training, the wardrobe is whatever I have. These black pants, I have had for 10 years. They are old, faded and I don't care what happens to them. Not the best for holding extra magazines and whatnot, but they work...for now. Pretty much when I shoot, my hair is up exactly like this, I wear those black pants, my new boots, and a long sleeve shirt, usually with my Gun Goddess shirt over the top. Not a lot of variety, but then no one is looking at me at the range anyway, so I don't worry about it.

Lastly, I got an email from a reader who is looking for some help from you all. She has a questions and is really hoping you will give her some feedback. Here is her question:

Here's the thing, I got my CPL over a year ago, and have been taking advantage of my range's Ladies Nights at least once or twice a month to shoot everything they have available to rent in order to settle on my carry weapon. While I like some handguns better than others, the problem is with my eyes.

I am unusual (I think) in that my *right* eye is far-sighted, and is also my dominant eye. I can read road signs and see targets just fine with my dominant eye. The problem comes in because my *left* eye is near-sighted, which means I could focus on the sights, but then the target is a blur, and since it is my non-dominant eye, it completely screws up my stance, etc. I've tried keeping both eyes open when I shoot, but then I wind up actually seeing 2 guns, one in focus and one not. Usually I close my near-sighted, non-dominant eye, and focus on the target. I can see the sights, blurrily, but enough to line them up and usually keep a 4 inch grouping at 15 yards with a 9mm. (Well, depending on the weapon I'm shooting, some of them don't like me!) Do I even *have* a problem? So many instructors, books, etc. stress keeping your focus on the front sight, but I literally cannot do that without learning to shoot all over again using my non-dominant eye. I'll say that while I do wear glasses to drive, it's the ONLY time I wear them (I always just leave them in the car), and I don't want to practice in a way that's not going to duplicate what I'd experience in real life.

She Likes Me, She Really Likes Me

2012-02-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

That's my best Sally Field's impersonation.

Yesterday I received an Award from The Gun Divas...how crazy cool is that?!!

Here are the rules:

1. Copy and paste the award on our blog.
2. Link back to the blogger who gave us the award
3. Pick our five favorite blogs with less than 200 followers, and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they have received the award.
4. Hope that the five blogs chosen will keep spreading the love and pass it on to five more blogs.

Here we go...

Excels At Nothing- Hilarious, witty, creative. You want to visit this page.

Gun Blog Blacklist -The best place to get all your blogging updates.

Grumpy-This one is not for the faint of heart, but I like going there.

Guns, Guns, Guns, and Gosh Darn More Guns-I don't know how into these things JD is and he might not want to partake, but his blog is good and it's worth visiting.

Total Survivalist Libertarian Bitch Fest-Raw, honest, sweet, good stuff.

If you haven't been to their blogs, I encourage you to go check them out and see what they have to say.

Little Update: Give-A-Way

2012-02-05T05:09:00.000-08:00

Our winner, only known as Leeann aka JsMe has not contacted me. If anyone in the blog world thinks they know her please tell her to contact me ASAP.

I will give her until Monday night. If I have not heard from her, by then, I will redraw and announce the new winner on Tuesday morning.

Leeann, I really hope to hear from you. I really, really want to give you your prize. I hope you are not contacting me because you are off having a grand time somewhere, which is great, but I need you to send an email to agirlandher@gmail.com

A Day At The Range

2012-02-04T14:37:00.000-08:00

Today my husband and I headed out to meet John and a few other folks out at John's range for a little ballistic fun. We varied in level and experience, but as always we met some fantastic people and had a great time.

For the benefit of those who have never taken a shooting class let me explain a little about what happens. Generally after a safety talk and some in classroom work everyone heads to the range and stands on the line. For an outdoor range, it is literally a line of people standing shoulder to shoulder with about 5 or 6 feet between them. Targets are set up in front of each shooter and then drills are called. You might start out on the 3 yard line and then move back to the 5 or 10 depending. The drills can be anything from shoot 5 rounds at your pace, center mass to shoot 2 quick rounds, to take one step to the left and shoot until you feel the threat has been taken care of etc. Now, this was not a class. This was just a few friends getting together to run the paces through a new gun, tighten up some techniques and blow the crap out of man sized paper.

My husband and one other person there would be what you would consider, skilled, so in the beginning they just stood back and let John work with the rest of us.

We did a variety of drills. Starting out on the 3 yard line, we shot a bunch of different scenarios. First me, then shooter 2, then shooter 3. Back up to the 5 yard line, me again, then #2, and #3. Back up to the 10 and again we took turns. We did some work from the 15 and the 25 yard lines and then John shot my gun a bit to check out the sites and a few other issues. We shot 9mm FMJ(that's the non-personal defense stuff) 115 grain and then we shot some 124 or 125 grain to see how they shot from the the 25 yard line. Not a huge difference, but the groups were tighter with the heavier grain. This is what we would expect, but it was fun seeing it live instead of just reading about it.

We moved back up to the 7 yard line and did some movement drills, then it was my turn by myself. Everyone stepped off the line and John, said AGirl, your up. Ok, I am used to being first and I was not nervous or anything. Now, I am going to relay this to the best of my recollection. This will not be word for word and there is some language.

I am standing there with my gun in it's holster and John is standing behind my right shoulder. We have done this kind of drill before, where he says ready, I put my hands up, then he says something like knife or gun and I draw my gun and shoot. John is the bad guy or sometimes the nice guy, it depends. For this dialog I will call him guy

-Guy-Hey, can I ask you a question?

-Me- Sure, but please stay back.

-Guy-Oh, ok, I just wanted to ask you a question.(he says this louder and with more purpose in his voice.)

-Me, I put my hand up and out and say, Stay Back.

Guy-Ok, Ok, I don't want to scare you, I just want to ask you for some money.

Now, you may realize those are the exact words the bad guy in the parking lot used when he approached me.

Me- Stop!

Guy-I am. I don't want to scare you I just want a little money. Come on it's no big deal. I just want some money.

His voice is getting louder and more aggressive.

This goes on a couple times, but he is getting louder and says something like, GIVE ME YOUR MONEY, BITCH

Me- I draw my gun and say GET BACK.

Guy- Hey, you stupid bitch, I just want some money.

Me- If you take one more step, I will shoot you.

I am not sure exactly what he said, because I was shaking and my hearing was kind of coming and going. I heard MOTHER FUCKER, BITCH, I AM GOING TO GET YOU.

I just stood there. I never took my eyes off of him and I just stood there with my gun on him and my finger off the trigger. At one point I put my finger in the trigger well, but then took it out again.

Guy-Your not gonna shoot me. You won't shoot.

Me-If you move again, I WILL shoot you.

John says...and the guy leaves, it's over.

I was very surprised at how real this felt. I was calm and ready for my drill, but the second he said, "I don't want to scare you", I was right back in that parking lot. Not my mind, me. I was not thinking. I was there. The target in front of me was not paper. I literally saw the guy's face. I was face to face with the blond haired creepy-eyed dude from my attack. This may seem strange, but on the way home I talked to my husband about how I was feeling. He has worked with a lot of PTSD guys and other people that have experienced trauma and he said, when people have been in a stressful situation the mind remembers it and certain things can jar it back to that place. He said "It was real for you" "You were right back there". My husband still can't drive across the desert in California without being taken back to Iraq.

This was an important drill for me because it showed that I won't just automatically shoot. I didn't get scared, pull my gun and take the guy out. I was calm and I was deliberate and I did not shoot, BUT, I would have. In my mind I said, if he moves, I will shoot.

It is worth saying here, that I was in a safe place. My husband was there. We were in a remote place with people who know what they were doing. I didn't ask, but I assume they were ready in case I didn't handle it. In case I froze, or dropped the gun or whatever, but I didn't. It is also worth mentioning these people know me. They know me and they knew I was ready for this step. I didn't. I never even thought about reenacting that day and I had no idea it was going to happen.

After John said, it's over, I calmly reholstered my gun and he said, you did good. Now, lets shoot the mother fucker.

I got on the line, John called out gun, I drew and I shot.

And The Winner Is...

2012-02-04T03:47:00.000-08:00

We had 222 entries for this Give-A-Way...AWESOME!!!!! To say I was blown away by the numbers that kept coming in would be an understatement. So very cool!!

I did not feel like it would give everyone a fair shot for me to just stick the names in a hat, so instead I used a computer program called "The Hat". I put in all the names, hit pick, and out came the name.

Remember how I said I would not post the name publicly unless I didn't have another way to contact the winner...well, that's what happened, so...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! Please contact me at agirlandgun@gmail.com.

Thank you to everyone who entered. This has been a wonderful experience for me and I have been deeply touched and moved by your stories. I wish you all continued success on your journeys and I would love to still be a part of them!

It's Your Story

2012-02-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago Aaron over at Weapon-Blog asked me to write a guest post for his blog.

Last night I got an email from a lady who read the post and wanted to share some thoughts with me. She had a bad guy encounter. A very bad guy encounter and while she had shared part of the story with people, she had not shared all of it. She didn't know why, but for some reason, she kept it to herself. She said when people would ask her and she didn't tell them everything she would feel guilty, like she was lying. She said she felt comfort when she read my post because she realized there were parts of my story I hadn't shared with people. It was like it was OK for her to not tell everyone or anyone every detail.

I want to explain a little about my story. Right after the indecent happened my thoughts were on protecting my daughter and staying calm. I came home to just my son. He is a grown man, but I still felt a need to protect him and my daughter from the ugliness that happened. I was shaken, I had some scraps, but nothing that screamed I have been attacked. Every ounce of my energy was on staying calm, so I didn't scare my daughter. I acted like nothing happened and only shared the bare minimum with my son. Surviving and moving on were my goals, period. After a while, it just became my story. I don't think I consciously decided not to tell every detail, but looking back I can see that how I was raised, who I had become influenced my silence. Up until a few weeks ago, I really rarely, if ever thought about that day, but one night at dinner, my 8 year old started talking about the day. She had seen way more than I had realized. She saw mommy fall and she saw the bad guy hurt me. I never knew. She described him to a T and then she started to bring out pictures she had being drawing...monster like figures with the same blond hair and creepy eyes of that man. The eyes were unbelievably accurate. I had without realizing it made her be silent. I didn't talk about it, so she didn't. She needed to talk about it and so we did, we do. The little break down a few weeks back, this was the catalyst(which I also didn't share with anyone). Her dinner revelation, her pictures, her words(which I will not share now and maybe never, that's her story to tell or not), I had no choice, but to tell the rest of the story. Once I told the story, it wasn't so bad, so I felt comfortable sharing on a grander scale.

It's funny because my son would always say, at least he didn't get you on the ground, you did good and each time, I wanted to say, but "he did", but each time I said nothing. I don't know why. I don't know why. I could probably psychoanalyze it, but here is what I have come to learn these past few months...it doesn't matter why.

This is my story. It happened to me. It effected my family and my friends, for sure, yes, it did, and it hurt them to watch me hurt, but I had to do what I had to do to not let it beat me.

My brain is my my brain. It helped me handle what I could handle when I could handle it. I can look back over the past 11 months and say I would have changed this or that and I most certainly would do things so much differently, but here's is the deal...I did what I could do and I it didn't beat me.

I was able to use whatever coping skills I had along with the love and support of my family, friends, and this community, to survive and flourish. That's a win.

So, here is my lesson to anyone who is trying to heal...IT'S YOUR STORY. Tell whoever you want or no one at all. Tell them as little or as much as you want. Just because you have a blog or a FaceBook or a friend, doesn't mean you have to tell anything to anyone you don't want to tell.

I read a quote on the Cornered Cat's FaceBook page a while ago and I think applies not only to right after the attack, but to the healing part as well.

"Just so you know, there is no way you can feel about the event that will feel right or comfortable. If you are elated (the battle joy is very real) during or after, you will feel guilty and think there is something wrong with you. If you feel guilty, you will berate yourself for the stupidity of feeling guilty when you had no choice... If you feel nothing, you will wonder what kind of a monster you might be.

"There is no right way to feel about an that wasn't 'right' by any normal frame of reference.... Whatever you felt, that was the emotional trigger that got you out alive. You don't need any more justification than that." ~ Rory Miller in _Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected

Whatever you are feeling and however you choose to handle it, is the right way. It's your story to tell or not.

P.S. when I say "however you chose to handle it, is the right way", I mean as long as you are not harming yourself or others. If you are not dealing or moving forward. If the pain is to much to handle alone, then I would suggest reaching out and letting someone help you in your process.

M&P at The Range

2012-02-02T11:08:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning I headed to the range with my son to shoot my new Smith & Wesson M&P 9mm. I don't want to give to much away, but I AM CRAZY ABOUT THIS GUN!

I bought Federal 9mm Luger bullets full metal jacket(FMJ)(in basic terms that just means the tip of the bullet is solid and rounded. It isn't hallowed out)in 115 grain. The package also has RN after FMJ, but I have no idea what that means. I have no idea if that is standard or what my other choices are in this caliber, but that is what the store sold, so that is what I bought. I did buy some self defense ammo also. Winchester 9mm Luger jacket hollow point(JHP), 147 grain. Again, this was my one and only choice.

Here is my first magazine...

He is a little crooked.

Not bad


Second magazine little further out

My son shot her. Did very well. Nice tight groupings.

Rapid fire drill(me)

I don't know the exact distance, but this was pretty far down range.

I was aiming at the 7. I thought my shots were low compared to where I had my sites.

This was at about the 10 yard line.

This is with the self defense 135 grain ammo. I didn't feel any difference from the 115 grain, but you can see my shots are not in much of a group.

Things I like...The trigger on this gun is awesome. I like how my index finger fits on the trigger itself. I don't know if you can tell in this picture, but the bottom of the trigger kind of curls up and makes for a nice grip for me. My son has much bigger fingers, so he prefers the straighter trigger of the Glock. I am not sure of all the correct terminology, but when I go from shot to shot(the reset), it is very smooth and quick. I could feel that on dry fire(shooting the gun without any ammo), but I was surprised at how quickly I could do a double tap(two shots fired quickly back to back) I shot an entire magazine doing 3 rapid shots, then pause, then 3 more etc and it was flawless. I have never done that before and I don't know why I decided to shoot 3 and then pause, but I did. It was fun! Between my son and I, we shot 217 rounds through the M&P and did not have a single malfunction. Of course, I like the bigger capacity magazine and the thinner grip. I have very long fingers and a bigger beefier grip is fine with me, but for concealing, I like the thinness of the M&P.

Things I didn't like...I have always been a pretty good shoot with my weak hand(that's the right for me), but with this gun, it felt odd. I just couldn't get comfortable holding it. My first few shots with my weak hand were all over the place, but I was able to get it under control. I have no idea why, but that discouraged me a little.

I also don't like the take down of this gun(for cleaning). It is not difficult , but for a lefty it is awkward to hold down the release tab while pulling the trigger etc. Not a big deal and I am sure I will get used to it, just saying.

This didn't bother me exactly, but one thing that happened to me that has never happened with my Glock is that my hands were covered in black powder. I don't know if it is the gun, the brand of ammo, or what, but my gun was dirty inside and out and so was I. I washed my hands 3 times.

All in all I love this gun. Love it. I think I am shooting well and it is just feels right. I think with more practice, I will be able to improve my accuracy, especially when I am on the move or drawing from the holster.

I am not ready to carry it though. My family keeps asking me if it's the gun by my bed at night. It isn't. I have carried and shot my Glock a lot over the past 11 months and it feels weird not to have her with me. I trust that gun and I trust myself with that gun. I know it well. I would, of course, grab any gun that was near by and use it in defense of myself or a loved one, but if I have a choice, I am reaching for the Glock .27, for now.

I am super excited to be going back to the range tomorrow to shoot with a friend and then Saturday I will do some holster work with John. I think I must have been very bored before I found guns. I am having a blast!!!!!!!

Give-A-Way

2012-02-01T05:39:00.000-08:00

Can you believe it is almost time to draw our winner?? This has been so much fun for me!!

Here is the plan-I will stop accepting entries at midnight on February 3rd. I will be in bed by then, so when I get up on Saturday, February 4th, I will check my email to see if anyone entered by the deadline. If there is a valid entry I will enter their name, then do the drawing. I am going to video tape the drawing, but I am not going to post the video with the winner because some people have emailed and did not want their name revealed. I am hoping that the winner will let us all share in her journey and let me blog about it, but I did state that there were no strings attached. This winner could win the prize, collect and ride off into the sunset. In keeping my word, I will draw the name, notify the winner and see what she says about letting me, let everyone know. The only exception is for those of you that left a comment on the blog with no way for me to contact you, if you win, I will have to post your "screen" name in order to notify you.

Once I notify the winner, she will then contact each of the additional prize donors and work out how to collect her goods. A couple of donors have contacted me and we have already worked out a system such as an electric gift certificate from GunGoddess.com.

I will do the drawing at 8am on Saturday, February 4th and promptly notify the winner by email. As soon as she gets back to me, I will let you all know.

I honestly wish I could hand out more training prizes. Each one of you are remarkable to take this step forward and I pray that you will find a way to get trained this year regardless of the outcome of this Give-A-Way.

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!

P.S....As I have already mentioned I thought this would be a little 20 person thing, easy peasy. It grew to over 200, which thrills me to no end, except that I was unprepared and therefore, didn't set this up properly. I am hoping to make this an annual event(I can not promise any additional prizes, but I would like to offer the training to one lady every year until, hopefully, forever:) and trust me I will make many changes. One being I will assign everyone a number next time, draw the number, post the number and that way, everyone will know right away, but can still be anonymous if they so choose.

A Bought a Gun!

2012-01-31T06:09:00.000-08:00

The first time I bought a gun, it was just a week or so after my incident in the grocery store parking lot. I had been reading about guns and whatnot, but really was just desperate to have a firearm, so armed with nothing more than a weeks worth of internet knowledge, I met a guy I didn't know in the parking lot of a pawn shop and handed over $550 in cash for a gun I knew nothing about. Now, it all turned out fine, that gun has been mighty good to me and I love it, but ladies and gentleman, that is not the way to do it.

So, for those of you who are new to guns, here is how you do it and for the record, this is exactly how all the experts will tell you how to do it and I probably should have done it their way, but then I would have that cool pawn shop parking lot story...

A few months ago, I saw a video on the XDm 5.25 barrel 9mm and from that video, I decided that was the gun I wanted. I was so excited by how excited the guy in the video was, I just knew I needed that gun, so I pretty much set out to get it. Wait, the experts probably won't suggest you buy a gun based on a dude in a video wetting his pants with excitement, but I am getting there.

I mentioned to a couple of people or pretty much anyone who would listen that I wanted an XDm, so being the amazingly nice folks that they are, many of them including Newbius and Girls With Guns, offered to let me shoot theirs and my lust was confirmed and it turned into a full fledged love affair. I shot it every chance I got.

In the meantime other folks said, hey why not try this gun or that gun, of course, I did. One gun I shot was the M&P 9mm and that one felt good too and the more I shot it the more it felt right, but I was torn because I was emotionally attached to that XDm.

John invited me out to his range and we did all kinds of drills and tests. I shot my Glock and the XDm of a very nice guy that was there that day also and I shot John's M&P. Again, there wasn't a massive difference between any of the times or accuracies, but in the end I did the best with the M&P, which should have been enough to convince me, but, I am a girl and I am emotional, so I still wanted that XDm. Wait, the experts probably will not advise that you buy a gun based on your emotional connection to it, especially when your emotions are based on that dude in the video, but I am getting there.

One of my favorite things about my Glock is it's lack of a manual safety(meaning something I have to do before hand to "unlock" the gun in order for me to fire my first shot) I like being able to draw and shoot. Both the XDm and the M&P come without a manual safety, but the XDm does have a grip safety(a little "level" on the back of the grip that when you grip the handle will press into the gun and as long as your grip is right, the gun will fire.) which has never been a problem any of the times I shot the XDm. No matter how I grabbed the gun, it shot, but some people I train with had said that as I advance in my training and do more "rolling" around onto the ground kind of work, the grip safety may become a hindrance for me.

So, I decided that I should keep shooting both guns, shoot a few other as well to include the Glock and to talk, talk, talk to people about their experiences. I went to several gun shops and gun shows and put my hands on everything I could to get a feel for what felt comfortable. I looked at my targets and I set my emotion aside. I looked at what I was going to use the gun for, what felt good to me, and what I was able to accomplish with said gun(ie, draw, accuracy etc.). I took my time and once I made my choice, I didn't rush it or settle.(This is what the experts suggest) Ok, I did try to rush it a couple times, but fate intervened and kept me from jumping the gun, no pun intended.

Finally, yesterday, I went to a reputable gun store with my son and John and purchased a M&P 9mm. Robb, the gun guy, installed Apex parts, to improve the trigger. If you are new to guns this part might not make sense, but before the trigger was kind of ratchety and the reset(the point where the trigger clicks and lets me fire again) was, not sure the right term, someone will explain this, I hope. anyway, Robb also switched the gun over to work with my left handedness. My Glock is made for a right handed person, so I have had to adapt. Instead of pressing the magazine release with my thumb, I use my index finger etc. This has not been a problem because, it is all I have ever know, however, last night as I tried to do some dry firing with my new gun, I kept trying to manipulate everything with my index finger. I don't think it will take long to get that under control though.

My paperwork took about 15 minutes to get approved. For some reason this seemed to annoy the folks around me:)

Not a great picture, but there she is...I am off to the range today to do some break in work. I will let you know she does.

Guess What I Did Today

2012-01-30T18:16:00.000-08:00

A Smile As Big As The Moon

2012-01-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

Tonight my husband and I sat down with our older children and watched a Hallmark movie. Yep, a cheesy, sappy, tear jerking, kind of movie. This movie was about a special ed teacher that wanted to take his kids to space camp.

Being the mother of 3 special needs kiddos that have had their challenges, well, of course this movie appealed to me. It was your typical, predictable, cliche flick and yet, it was full of truth, loaded really.

So, here is a teacher fighting the odds and the system and he eventually takes his kids to the camp. Everything is going great when, wham, a kid with "issues" loses it. The teacher gets ready to chase after him when one of the other kids steps up, puts his hand on the teachers shoulder and says, "No, let us go". "We don't need you any more". The teacher looks to his co-worker and says "They don't need us anymore." and she says "Isn't that the point?"

Yep!

Of course, they still need them. We always need people, their support, their love, their encouragement, but it changes. It moves from dependence to empowerment to partnership, to friendship.

There were no guns. Nothing blew up. But there was plenty of fight. Only the thing they were fighting for was a place in this world and I couldn't help but think, isn't this what I am fighting for? Isn't this the point? Helping the least of these, be a little more powerful, a little more confident, a little more independent. Isn't this the whole point? I reach out to others who help me be stronger, so I can be stronger, so I can help others be stronger. Plus they played Kenny Roger's The Gambler and that alone hooked me.

You all get it, I know, but it's still worth saying. The fight is so worth fighting.

Dinner With Friends

2012-01-29T08:07:00.000-08:00

Last night we had some friends over for dinner. We have known them for a couple of years as our children went to kindergarten together. We go to their house a couple times a year and they came to ours once or twice. We are close, but still getting to know each other. What each others values are, politics, how we feel about improtant issues, etc.

A few months ago they invited our family out for one of their annual get togethers. My husband was out of town, so it was just me and the kiddos. After things had settled a bit and most of the other people had left, I was sitting and talking to our friends about our current president and my lack of appreciation for his stance on the 2nd Amendment. They agreed with me and we exchanged quips, jabs, the usual banter that takes place among friends. The kids were all running around playing, so they could hear us, but no one was sitting down intently paying attention to what any of us said, which is why I was surprised when they shared this story with us...

A few weeks after the party, their son had a little playmate over for the day. The
little girl had gone into the little boy's room to look for his nerf guns, but she couldn't find them. So, finally in frustration she asked the little boy,

"Where are all your guns"

His reply "Obama took' um"

Is It Any Wonder

2012-01-26T16:16:00.000-08:00

Last night I received an email alert from our local police department warning abut a suspicious man following a young girl home from school. I decided to check my personal FB to see if the local newspaper had posted any additional info. They had...

The Sheriff's Office is investigating a report of suspicious activity near Freedom Middle School. A male appeared to follow children from the school to a neighboring residence, then lingered in front of the house once the children were inside. He is described as a white male approx 30-40 years old, 6 feet tall, 190 lbs medium build with curly grey hair with a bald spot and close cut grey beard last seen wearing a grey t-shirt, silver wristwatch, blue knee length basketball shorts and white and grey shoes. Citizens are advised to monitor their children carefully and report any suspicious activity to the Sheriff's Office-

Later today another update...

At approximately 5:15 p.m. a female 14 year old 8th grade Freedom Middle student
walked back to the school to get her keys which she had forgotten after volleyball
practice which ended at 5:00 p.m. She noticed a white male (description below)
running on the track and remembered seeing him there the day before when she
went home after practice. After retrieving her keys she began to walk home and
noticed the man leave the track and begin to slowly run and walk behind her. The
student called out to a friend who was outside and had him walk her home. Once
inside her residence the suspicious male stopped outside her residence and began
stretching, until a neighbor told him to get off his vehicle. The male then ran to the
end of the street and began stretching again. Once the student’s aunt arrived home
the male ran back toward Freedom Middle School.

The school principal was notified and worked with the Sheriff’s Office last night in
an attempt to identify the male. The student describes the male as follows:

Gray curly/frizzy hair on top of his head with a small bald spot/slick hair on the
back of his head
6’0” 190 thick body shape
Lost of hair on arms
Gray shirt with words on it, blue basketball short to knee length, white sneakers
with gray outline
Drove a white SUV type car that he parked in the bus loop
-walked on track or around the school two days in a row around 5pm

This was on the news and alerts went out and it was in the newspaper and on FB, but this person and no one that he knew came forward.

At some point the police said they were patrolling the area and noticed a man fitting the description and decided to question him.

They, the police decided that he is not a bad guy, just a jogger and no one should be worried. Now, to be honest this doesn't sit well with me, but that is not the point of this post.

I make a comment on the story as followed...

I am immensely impressed with this young person. Way to be aware, make good choices and let a trusted adult know! Not her job to decide if he is a good guy or not. She did exactly the right thing!

This is the response from Melissa...

Dang I better be aware of my surroundings when I go out running in neighborhoods...or try to make it obvious I'm just out for a run! Good for the girl to stay aware though...

That is her answer to a kid's reaction. A kid. A girl, basically alone at the age of 14. This child accused no one of anything. Not a single person was harmed in this event, but this person, Melissa, thinks it is wrong for the jogger to be inconvenienced. The jogger, not the child, that is who she is concerned about.

This man very well may be innocent, although I half expect him to turn up on America's Most Wanted someday, but regardless, this is the message much of society sends to it's children, it's women.

We wouldn't want to offend an innocent man, so it is better to keep quite and if he happens to mug you, beat you up, rape you, kidnap you or murder you, at least you didn't cause a scene. You were a good girl. After all isn't that what we are looking for?

I am half tempted to post the link and unleash the full force of the gun community on her, but instead I will rant to the ones who already know the truth. The ones that are already protecting their children and teaching them how be survivors.

Good gravy, I am mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No wonder we have woman and children who don't stand up and say STOP! GET BACK!

I am not blaming society for an individuals responsibility to defend themselves, but if one has no idea, no idea at all and is socialized, embarrassed and harassed into thinking it is wrong to stand up and question the odd behavior of another, well then, there is a good chance that person just might not be equipped, mentally or otherwise to fight back.

When I first started carrying my plan was still not to cause a fuss. To just sit back quietly and carry my gun. I had planned to blend into the background of life and not draw to much attention to my gun totin' ways, but that is out the window. Little by little I have talked a little louder and I have fought a little harder, but this it is, this the straw that broke the quite little ladies back...NO WAY I WILL BE QUIET! NO WAY! I will not let Melissa convince children that they should hush up. That they should be good little girls. That they should wait for something bad to happen, before they speak up. Nope, not a chance.

I am in this fight. I am all in!

National Take Your Daughter To the Range Day

2012-01-25T16:51:00.000-08:00

As you probably know, growing up I did not learn aboutguns. I did not like guns and eventhough I wasn’t particularly girly, I was not athletic in any way that requiredskill. I liked track. Running in acircle, that I could do. I was a very shy, quiet, and I kept to myself, mostlyreading. I had friends, I fit in, but Iwas very unsure of how to act and what to say and to say that I was not cool would be a hugeunderstatement.

As I grew up and went to college I became more outgoing andless of a recluse, but I would still keep to myself mostly. My husband and Ihave always had a small group of friends that we choose to spend our time withand neither one of us is what you would call adventurous. My husband was a Marine for 20 years, so thatwould seem a contradiction, but it isn’t. He did his job, which he loved, brilliantly, but he was not for takingrisks just to take them. He will go tobattle and fight to the death, but he isn’t going to bungee jump off the bridgejust for an adrenalin rush and neither am I.

I have always chosen the safe path in life. The middle of the road stock options, therespectable, but not to exciting career, the 2 kids, white picket fence kind ofroad. It has been a good life and I havehad much joy and fun, and occasionally I have detoured off the path and dosomething a little unconventional. Whenmy passion overrides my fears, like when we adopted our kiddos, but I quicklyreturned to my cozy life.

Recently, as Ihave gained a new kind of peace and confidence, the kind that comes with knowingI can take care of myself, I have started to take more risks. I have a muchdeeper appreciation for my life and while I still have no desire to flingmyself off a bridge, I am more likely to take the harder road now.

When I faced my fears about guns and not only overcame thosefears, but blew them out of the water, I started to believe in myself in a newway. I am more willing to step out andfight for what I want even if it scares me or even if I am not sure I cansucceed.

Confidence comes anytime one faces a challenge, whether aperson succeeds at it or not. Justtaking the steps forward to try is character building, but when one takesresponsibility for their own life, all of it, not just the paying the bills and taking care of the children part, butfor it’s very breath…that is a confidence like no other.

That is the confidence I gained when I began shooting. Thatis the confidence I want for my children, especially my daughters (I say thatbecause society often doesn’t make that as easily accessible to thegirls). I want that kind of confidenceto pulse through their veins. I wantthat to be the very breath that they breathe.

Of course, there are many aspects to teaching children thatkind of confidence. It isn’t as simpleas putting a gun in their hand, but for our family, shooting is a vital part of the lessons we want to teach.

Our children know their life matters and they know they havethe right to fight for it and to protect it. That is our number one lesson…YOU MATTER! Learning how to protect themselves is one major way to teach that lesson.

If you have never taken your child shooting then you aremissing out on an incredible opportunity to teach your child, not only a skillthat might one day save their life, but also a valuable tool to help them gainconfidence. Talk to any woman whocarries a gun and I'll bet she will tell you that she walks a little taller and sleepsa little better knowing she knows how to use a gun.

I want to invite you to take that first step(or if you areold hat at this, then I invite you to join in anyway) and take you daughter/s to the first National Take Your Daughter To The RangeDay. This year’s event will be held onJune 9, 2012. I know the people putting this together and they are top notch. I will be doing everything I can to help and I hope at the very least you will come out and shoot! For more information go here

I Hope I Made You Proud

2012-01-24T11:31:00.000-08:00

Today I met a new friend at my local range because what better way to get to know someone then to share a little lead?

My gun collection consists of a Glock and a Ruger LCP. Not much to offer, but at least I paid for the range time. My new friend has lots to offer. In addition to her sweet personality, she brought an XDm in 9mm, Glock 19(which is also a 9mm), a .22 pistol, and a bodyguard in .380. Do I even have to say how excited I was?

While said friend was loading her magazines with ammo, I shot my Glock 27(that shoots a .40 caliber bullet, if your new)

I breath, I aim, I squeeze, bang...OUCH! What the heck, that hurt. My finger was numb and my hand was stinging. I have had this happen a few other times, but I could not find any rhyme or reason as to why sometimes I shoot my gun and nothing and other times, I can't hardly handle the sting. I shoot my gun a few more times and decide I am not a fan, so I put it down and start shooting the other guns. First the XDm, then the Glock 9mm, then the Bodygaurd. Actually, I am taking turns with my friend, but that is the order I shot the guns. Then my friend says would you like to shoot the Glock .40 full size. Sure. I shoot and it doesn't hurt. I am sure the size of the gun impacts recoil, but I just didn't think the bigger gun was the main difference.

(This where you might be proud because this is where what I have been learning here kicked in.)

My mind was thinking and thinking what is the deal? Finally, I ask my friend what grain her .40 ammo is...she says 155. Mine are 180 grain.

For the purpose of those that might not understand what I am talking about, I am going to give you a very basic explanation. As always, the technicalities of all this I will leave to others, but grain is essential the weight of the bullet. So, you can buy a bullet in a .40 caliber, but it's weight or grain can vary. You can buy a .40 in 155 grain or 165 grain or 180 grain. There are more choices, but just to give you an idea.

I have understood the differences intellectually, but I didn't really understand how they effected my shooting, until today. Well, I understood a lighter grain meant the bullet travels faster, but not as far whereas the heavier load goes farther, but at a slower velocity. I am not really a good enough shooter to be able to tell the subtle difference between grains, or so I thought.

After I realized that her .40's and my .40's were different grains, I asked if I could shoot my bullets out of her gun. She said yes, so I did. Guess what? It hurt my hand. Not quite as much as when I shot my smaller gun, but my hand still stung after each shot, so, of course, I asked if I could shoot her .40's out of my gun and since she is unbelievably AWESOME, she said yes. Guess what? No pain! I normally shoot 165 grain, so the 180 grain is brutal on my hands. Too much power for me. I have to say, even though I felt the recipe differently, ny shots were pretty darn good regardless of what I shot. That was pretty cool.

I literally jumped up and down. I figured it out, on my own. I was so excited that I had enough knowledge to think, "hey I wonder if it is the grain" and then to do a little experiment and then to find the answer!!!!

Our hard work is paying off! Thanks for answering my endless questions. I am learning! I am learning!

P.S. I do not like 180 grain, do not like it at all.

I'm In Love With A Dragon

2012-01-24T06:35:00.000-08:00

Back in November 2011 I ordered a holster for my husband from Dragon Leatherworks. Dennis had it ready and shipped in time for my husband to open it Christmas morning!! I had a minor issue and contacted Dennis to see if he would mind making the adjustment and within 3 minutes of me sending an email to him, he called me. He was happy to make the change and he did so lickty split!! From my first conversation with Dennis I knew this was going to be a good experience. He was nice, professional, timely and his holster speaks for itself.

The workmanship is outstanding, the customer service stellar and plus this is one gorgeous holster! Thanks Dennis!!

Change

2012-01-22T18:17:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was catching up on Facebook posts and I read "Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better" on The Cornered Cat's page.

It reminded me of something I have said several times over the years...the easiest thing in the world to do is nothing. It takes courage to change.

To do something different is very scary for people and so many, if not, most people choose the easy path and do nothing. They choose to remain in a place of misery, or fear, or a victim.

After my brother killed himself, my parents, understandably, had a rough time. It was a difficult time for all of us, but my parents couldn't seem to move on from the guilt and the pain. They were in so much pain and filled with such anger, anger that just grew and grew, that they essentially were no longer living. I remember telling my dad that he was doing my brother no good. The guilt he felt about being a bad parent wasn't serving any purpose except to destroy another life. It made more sense to take the lessons learned and to be a better father, grandfather, friend, person...

I understood it would be hard, but it was really the only choice.

Three days after my brother's funeral, I laid on the floor, on my stomach, curled up and sobbed. It was the first time I really let go of my emotions and sobbed. Up until that point, I had cried,of course, but there was much to be done, to include being strong for my parents. I don't remember how long I laid there, but my husband says it was hours. He knows because the entire time, he laid on top of me and held me. At some point, I pulled myself together and moved forward. One of the things I said to my husband was that I wanted to show my kids how to handle hardships. How to deal with the worst life has to offer and to come out the other side, not just alive, but living. It took me about a year after my brother killed himself until I fully felt like myself. Durning that year, I had a lot of good days. Days that I laughed and days that I smiled, but from time to time, I would get overwhelmed by the emotions of anger I felt at him or the enormous amount of loss I felt not having him around and when those times came, I let them out. I cried and talked about how I felt and then I moved on. The time between "break-downs" got longer and longer until they just didn't happen any more. Now my kids were very young then, so I shielded them from a lot as I do today, but when they ask about that time, I can tell them, I had days where I just laid in bed, but the days I got up far out weighed the ones when I didn't and I am so glad I did because look at what I would have missed.

I am trying to do that now too. I am trying to teach my kids how to heal from a bad situation. I want them to learn lessons from my mistakes and also give them skills to cope with life, the good and the bad.

It is not healthy to feel guilty and I don't and it's not healthy to stay in a cycle of self pity and I am not, but it is not realistic to think some events won't cause pain or won't be difficult. I want my children to know its ok to cry and it's ok to have a bad day, and doing so doesn't make you unstable or unhealthy. Just the opposite, really. Cry, scream, yell, then move forward. Find positive ways to move forward. That is inconvenience. That is healing.

Make no mistake, I am tougher and if ever anyone makes the mistake of coming at me again, the scenario will end much differently and make no mistake, I am preparing my children to be fighters, to be mentally tough, to be courageous, but I am also teaching them how to feel. How to be passionate, how to care, how to have empathy and love for others and themselves. I am trying to be an example of healing. I don't think I am teaching them much if I am only hard and never soft. If I am only strong and never weak. I want them to know being strong doesn't mean not feeling sad. Being brave doesn't mean not crying.

Change takes inconvenience. It takes courage. It is not a smooth ride. It is worth the effort.

Pretty soon we will only find these posts in my archives, but until then, I will keep moving forward.

I am making the changes. I am healing. I am living.

Tomorrow one of my daughter's from China is turning 8. When she came to us, she was 4, she was broken, she was empty, she needed things she couldn't ask for, she could offer us nothing in return, but we loved on her and we taught her how to heal. Today she is confident, carefree, peaceful, full of life. She still needs us, but not the way she used to. Tomorrow I will be smiling and probably crying and my heart will be full. We will be celebrating not only her birth, but also her life and her fighting spirit.

Yep, it's worth the effort.

Does This Sound Right To Anyone?

2012-01-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

Before I go ranting and raving about the injustice of it all, I want to check with you all to see if this sounds wrong to anyone besides me.

My son is 20 years old and has a Wisconsin drivers license. He used to live in Wisconsin, but recently moved back to Virgina. He moved here January of this year. Anyway, my husband and I have a car that hasn't been running and we haven't needed it so we have not bothered to get it fixed. Now that our son is home he needs the car, so this morning we got it fixed and our son was driving it to get it inspected.

About 2 blocks from the house he gets pulled over for the inspection not being current. That is fine, but the cop also gave him a ticket for not having a license. Our son went to get his license out of his wallet and realized it wasn't there, so he told the police officer, he would bring proof to him later. In Virginia a person has 24 hours to produce proof that one is in fact a licensed driver. The police officer said that since, he, the cop could not prove that there was reason to believe our son had a valid license in Wisconsin, that he was giving him a ticket for operating a vehicle without any license at all.

The police officer was on a motorcycle, so he called into dispatch to have them check to see if Wisconsin had a record of his license, but the dispatcher said she/he didn't have access to find that out.

So, the police officer told our son that it is true a person has 24 hours to produce their licenses, but that if there is no way to tell that one has a license that he can cite the driver and in addition, he told my son he can't drive until the March 2nd court date. That does not sound right to me. My son has the license, but it is in his wife's purse. When she gets home I am going to drive him to the police department to show proof within 24 hours, but I had to go pick him up. If he is a legal driver with a valid license and is in a state where the law allows 24 hours to produce said licenses and it has not yet been 24 hours, can the police really tell him, he is not allowed to drive until March 2nd?

Just seems wrong. Can any of my Virginia friends(or anyone else) shed some light for me?

A New Blog

2012-01-20T06:44:00.000-08:00

If you read my post Blogs, Blogs and Gosh Darn More Blogs then you know I am a fan of the many wonderful blogs out there.

Guess what? Yesterday I found a new one!! This blog is especially great for the brand new shooter. Bill's post are full of extremely useful information that he lays out in a very easy to understand way.

Part of my frustration when I was first learning about guns was that my level of knowledge was so low, when I say low, I mean zero, so when someone on a blog would say DAO, I thought it was a typo for DOA(Dead on Arrival). I would like to say I am only joking here, but I am not. Even when a blogger included DAO(double action only), it didn't help me. Google was my best friend in those early days, which is why the protest the other day was so important to me. Not really why. Really, it was because our government is ticking me off, but...

I digress, the point being that I needed a much more basic explanation of things. Fortunately, I was motivated and if I didn't know I would just ask and as we all know, the bloggers were more than willing to help me, but it would have been nice to have a place where I could go that was more tailored to my level. Bill's blog is one such place.

The bloggers in the gun world are very talented, smart people which is wonderful, but often times, when I finished reading a post, I just felt deflated. Not being able to grasp what they were saying was maddening. That is my fault, not theirs. I just needed a place where I could go that would give me step by step guidance. There are a lot of courses that one can take offered through the NRA and I would suggest taking one or two or three, but in the mean time, the internet can be a great resources.

From the emails I am getting, I am realizing that I am not alone and truth be told there might be more of us in the clueless camp than in the expert camp(helpful hint: if you go to a blog that claims to know it all, they probably don't. The really smart ones share their knowledge, but always say they are still learning too)

So, from one brand new shooter to another, here are my suggestions:

First-Buy Cornered Cat: A Woman's Guide To Concealed Carry. It is not a complicated book. It is well thought out, easy to understand guide that is well worth the minimal investment. Having said that, the first time I read it, there was much I did not understand, but that's fine. It's a guide and I refer back to it constantly. The book gave me a place to start and each time I am exposed to something new, I pick up my copy and see what The Cornered Cat has to say about it.

Second-If you are feeling overwhelmed or like you are the only one, go back and read my old posts. You will see nothing could be farther from the truth. Not trying to be a post pusher here, just trying to give you a place to go if you need to feel better about yourself or smarter. I am not exaggerating when I say I needed help. Good news...I found it and so will you.

Third- Visit Bill's blog

Forth-If you visit a blog and you read something complicated about guns or ballistics or Green Tomato Bacon Pie(Ok, that one is not complicated, but it looks so mouth watering, make your knees weak, good that you have to go see it) that you do not understand...ASK! I think it is better to ask in the comments as opposed to an email and here's why: I am absolutely positive if you have the question so does someone else. You will be helping other women who are not ready to post publicly their questions. It's a community and you can help even if only by having the courage to ask. The second reason I suggest leaving a comment, is doing so, gives you access to more information. The blog host will most likely answer you, but in addition, so will a whole lot of other smart folks. Not everyone will answer in a way that your brain understand information, so the more people who respond the better chance you have of getting it. If you still do not understand, ask again. I am serious about this, keep asking until you are satisfied that you have a good grasp of the issue at hand.

Last-Relax! You do not have to understand DOA or SAO or 5.56 NATO(I use this example a lot because I just learned about it and it makes me happy that I know it) to know how to shoot. If you have taken a step, any step forward to make yourself safer, then I say BRAVO! EXCELLENT! WAY TO GO!! I am immensely proud of you(which may or may not mean anything to you, but regardless I am, so I am telling you so) and I can promise you, you will not be disappointed as you take this incredible journey towards greater freedom and dare I say it, a whole lot of fricken fun!!

P.S. this is not an exhaustive list of things you should do, but it's a place to start.

I Missed You!!

2012-01-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got up early, visited a few blogs, made a few comments and then for the most part I was offline.

Larry left this comment to my post Protest "It is wrong. Which is why I'm on the air and broadcasting as loud as I can. Bastards will have to send the black helicopters in for me".

I think he makes a good point and if you go to his site, he explains it further. I am generally not a fan of protest and boycotts, but sometimes I think it is important to stand up, publicly for what you believe in. How one does that can vary. I was happy to see that while we displayed our contempt for the issue differently, we both did something.

The main reason I did not post on my blog or FaceBook yesterday was because I think this nation is becoming very lazy and very selfish and it appears that most people do not have a clue what is going on. I have to believe this because otherwise I would think there would be more outrage. It appears that people live in a fog and only stand up and fight when the cause effects them. I thought perhaps if people were inconvenienced by not being able to do what they wanted online, they might try to figure out what was happening and then maybe, just maybe stand up against it. Now, I don't think that anyone cares if I blog or not and generally the people who read my blog are already the kind of people who stand up for their principals and fight, but I also thought it was important for me to support the bigger issue because I think what is going on in our government is sickening.

Anyway, since I chose not to be online yesterday, I picked up my 13 year old and her friend from school and we spent the day eating and shopping. At one of the stores I saw a sign that I thought perfectly stated my life's motto, so I bought it...

Absolutely True

I Made One Minor Adjustment

Protest

2012-01-18T06:38:00.000-08:00

I have spent the last hour trying to get this blog tomgo offline, but it's not working, so let me say...

Censorship is just WRONG!

I'm off.

Drills

2012-01-17T07:12:00.000-08:00

This post is really for those of you who are not yet shooters or are relatively new.

If you have not shot a gun before then you may not be aware that guns can "malfunction". I will leave all the technically aspects of this to the experts, but basically, when you pull the trigger and there is no bang, you have a problem.

If you are in a bad situation and it calls for you to draw your gun and shoot, you want it to go bang and more likely, you will want it to go bang, bang, bang. If for some reason, your gun doesn't do that, then it is imperative that you know how to deal with that problem, quickly.

There are several reason why the gun might not go bang and there are several ways to deal with the problem. I will not get into all of those ways because I don't want to bog you down with to much information. For the purpose of simplicity, I will just say, dealing with malfunctions is an important part of your training.

If you missed my post yesterday, I talked about having some bad dreams and all of them focused on my gun not working and me not being able to fix it. Lots of people posted that these kinds of dreams are very normal and all have had them.. Huge relief. Many of the suggestions to dealing with said dreams was to a accept them as nothing more than the mind doing its thing and to practice.

I receieved lots of very helpful comments, but I thought I would share part of one from Weer'd...

"I used to have the crazy malfunction dreams, and I still have REALLY weird ones, like one when my wife and I were in a hotel room and some creep tries to force their way in. I grab the travel box I had taken the gun in (obviously we must have flown or driven through an unfriendly state) and open it up and there is my 1911...perfectly field stripped and laid out.

So now I'm putting a 1911 together as fast as I can while the door is breaking down.

Just weird.

Still the most common nightmares everything works as I practice, my draw is smooth, I keep the gun in a position where it can't be grabbed and I shoot and hit my target....and nothing changes, the attacker keeps coming, and eventually my gun breaks or falls apart, or jams just because my mind is out of bad ideas.

I suspect the reason for this is I've never actually SHOT a person. I know what its like to draw and fire, and I know how to fix a gun that's stopped working...but I have no idea (in practice) how to stop an attacker because I've never had to do it.

I know my biology, I know my ballistics, and I've read a ton of books about such things...but I've never seen it happen, and so my mind has nothing to draw on".

I think that makes perfect sense. Our minds do in fact draw from what we tell it or what it has experienced. I actually, know this to be true from my education in Deaf studies and linguistics. That is why practicing anything you want to do well, is so important. You have to develop those neural pathways.

Anyway you slice it, I needed to get to the range. So, yesterday my husband and I met John at the range to work on malfunction drills.

The first drill was a target placed at a relatively close spot to me, maybe 5, maybe 7 yards. John, placed some live ammo mixed with dummy rounds then I shot the magazine and dealt with the issues that came up.

A dummy round is a "fake" bullet. It isn't supposed to go bang. They are also called snap caps. There might be other names, but those are the two I am familiar with. Mine are red. You can read more about them here

So, let's say I pull the trigger and the gun makes a click sound, but nothing else happens. Then I have a problem. What I practiced was tapping the bottom of the magazine, racking the slide and then pulling the trigger. It is actual called...tap, rack, bang. I have practiced this before, but it has been a while. The other part of the drill was to move while tap, rack, bang was taking place. If your gun is not working, you don't want to stand there like a sitting duck while trying to fix the problem. It is important to move and to make yourself a difficult target. Now, when I say I moved, understand at the indoor range there isn't much room to actually move.

Again, if you have never shot at an indoor range let me explain that basically you are put in a little cubicle.

I had just enough room to take 2 steps to the left or to the right, but it got my mind thinking about moving and any practice is good. Well, as long as what you are practicing is based on good solid training.

I practiced dropping the magazine and reloading and John showed me how to tap, rack, bang with one hand. The range we were at would not actually allow us to practice this, but I got the idea and I can certainly practice that at home during my dry fire practice time. For more on dry fire practice see the Cornered Cat's article on the subject.

I did pretty darn good if I do say so myself. What I found interesting is that when the target was a man, I did much better then when I was shooting at little circles. When I was shooting a "person", I hit every shot in center mass with a fist sized group, but when I was shooting at little circles, I was still hitting the target, but not exactly where I was aiming. Not sure why.

All in all it was a very good day at the range and I felt much better about being able to handle a malfunction. I will, of course, keep practicing, but I am feeling good and last night very peacefully.

Well, that was a surprise.

2012-01-16T17:26:00.000-08:00

I am going to make this short because I am exhausted, but I wanted to say thank you for everything. The kind words, the advice, and the support. You already know how much I value you all. The advice was good. I listened.

I want to be sure everyone understands, neither Joan or any other negative comment had anything to do with my mini breakdown. I truly, honestly never once have given any thought to her. People who don't like me or are mean, don't upset me. I didn't return to her site or the reddit site because they both are negative and empty. All that is offered there is hate and that's not me. That has never been me.

The past few days have been the culmination of the past few weeks. I mentioned my feeling in passing to a few blogger friends, so I tried to stuff it down. I thought I was doing a good job of it, but the dreams(which I now know are normal, but still were something more this time) and that wonderful post just forced me to let it go. I have been getting hundreds of emails and reading lots of post calling me a hero or a true American, or any number of other extraordinarily kind, kind things. I have been fortunate enough to have a few people send me a t shirt or a holster accompanied by beautiful words. I tried to pay for every single one. But, they were gifts and I appreciated them so much. Juxtapose that with emails or comments from women who have been raped or violated in other horrific ways or from husband's reaching out to me on behalf of their loved ones, or from service members...men and women who have fought for our country, they are telling me, I touched them. Man, I felt woefully inadequate and guilty for all the good that is happening in my life. I am giving away one, ONE, training and this community has given me so much. That is what made me go a little crazy. Feeling like I was benefitting while others were suffering. Those are the people I respect and those are the people I value and they are who affect my life. I realize now, that I am helping people and they mean what they say. I am helping. That is huge to me! That is what matters! I don't need to feel guilt or bad about that. So, I won't any longer.

I think my post might have come off a bit overly dramatic. I wrote what I was feeling at that moment and I probably should have taken a step back. It really was just a few bad days and even then, not all the awful. I still laughed and spent time with my kids and did fun things with my husband. I did not obsess about the feelings or the dreams at all. I have written many times how much I love my life and how much I want to fight for it and that is always true, but I am a girl and I get emotional. In a very short amount of time, 7 days to be exact, I had been bombarded with lots of compliments and lots of very emotional stories. I was not sleeping from reading all the emails and it just caught up with me. I vented and you all, like always were there as were my husband, my friends and John, who is my friend, but I like to give him an extra shout out.

John(my favorite firearms instructor) read my post and sent an email...

Let's Shoot

Today.

Focus: malfunction drills.

I met him and we did just that. 100 rounds down range coupled with lots of support and I feel much better.

Here is my plan, to accept that life deals what it deals and we all have to do the best we can. I am doing the best I can for myself and others. It is genuine and I am passionate about helping people avoid becoming a victim and helping people like me, survivors, heal. All good!

I am going to continue to shoot, and train. I will continue to ask questions and prepare.

A bad thing happened, I have come far, I had a bump in the road, that's ok. I cussed!! Unfortunately, I didn't even realize it until someone pointed it out. I am fine.

P.S. Don't take my drama to mean you should stop telling me how great I am. I am kind of getting used to it and nobody wants me to write a ranting post about how nobody loves me anymore.

Healing Is Not Linear

2012-01-16T07:38:00.000-08:00

Life is good, life is fine, something bad happens, rocks my world. I go through the normal phases and eventually healing and progress takes place.

I had thought all that pain was behind me. Not forgotten, but tucked away as a memory, one that I could control and use to help others.

I never thought I would be dealing with the negative emotion that came from my bad guy encounter. Then I wrote that letter.

That letter.

When I first wrote, it was exactly what I wanted to say. It expressed exactly what I felt and as other shared it and identified with it, I felt happy and proud, but then as it grew and grew, I started to feel uncomfortable.

The more and more I see my name being used to represent victims the more uncomfortable I feel.

Sometimes when I see the word violence, I think, I have no right to be include with those that have suffered at the hands of a mad man, those that have really suffered. Those that had the courage to fight back or those who didn't have the chance. I feel guilty and ashamed. Am I really a victim or just some stupid lady who didn't have the guts to fight?

And yet sometimes when I see the words...violence, victim...they take me back to that day. A day, I haven't really thought much about, in terms of details. I always talk about that day in general terms. Even here I have never actual said what happened, step by step. I don't talk about it. I don't think about it. At least, I didn't used to, but now, now I do. No willingly, but there it is. I read a post like the this one last night and bam, there I am. I can see myself standing there, doing nothing, being so god damned scared.

It's been a hard couple of days.

The Mind Is A Funny Thing

2012-01-16T06:00:00.000-08:00

For the past 4 nights, I have had nightmares. I go to sleep calm, happy and not worried about a thing and then I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic.

Every night in my dreams, I find myself in some kind of bad guy situation where I appear to be handling the situation and then wham-o, all goes south.

The first night I was walking into a garage, not a parking garage, one connected to a house. It was not my house, but a friend's, maybe, anyway, I look across the way and a man is standing there with a gun, he shoots at me, but misses. I draw my gun and shoot, but my gun jams, so I get behind a car(I don't know how it got there, it was not there at the start of my dream), clear my gun and shoot again, again, it jams. I do this 3 times. The fourth time small pieces of paper start flying out the injection port, I look down, the man cames at me and grabs me arm. I wake up.

The next night. I am at home. Someone knocks on the door. I answer, there is a guy standing there, he pushes the door open, I push it shut, take 2 steps back and draw my gun, shoot, but there is no bang. I can't get away, he grabs my arm, I wake up.

The next 2 nights I have dreams that follow the same pattern. All is well, bad guy comes, I try to defend myself, gun doesn't work, bad guy grabs my arm, I wake up.

I can't figure out why.

A while back Lima had posted on her FB page about a gun dream she had had and in the Cornered Cat's book she discusses that gun dreams are common, so I am not surprised that I would a dream involving guns, but not these kind. I cant figure out why now and why is my gun malfunctioning?
Why am I left there with the bad guy winning?

I practice the tap, rack, bang and I run scenarios over in my mind, in case of some kind of malfunction, but I am not afraid of it happening. I am aware that a jam could happen, probably not white pieces of paper flying out of my Glock, but something could cause my gun not to work. I get that, but in my conscious state, I am not worried about it. Equipment fails, so I read about how to deal with it, I try to train for it, but of all the things I am concerned about, this is not at the top of my list. I get more and more confident in my abilities to handle a bad guy encounter and I have a great deal of confidence in my gun.

I am not cocky. I know I have a lot to learn. So much to learn, but I am not defenseless anymore. Not in terms of equipment and not in terms of my mind.

When the morning comes, I talk things over with my husband and I search for an answer, but I never find one. I just kind of shrug my shoulders and go about my day. I don't spend the day trying to figure it out or obsessing over why. In fact, I completely forget about it.

However, it is starting to annoy me. I was kind of hoping when I started having gun dreams they would involve zombies or me saving the day, not me standing there again being a helpless victim with a defective gun. I don't really need an answer, but I do need for them to stop. All this intruppeted sleep is making me one tired and grumpy girl.

Are You Talkin' To Me?

2012-01-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

It appears everyone's fun loving pal, Joan, has been including me in some of her posts lately. Since I have not returned to her blog, I was completely unaware, but a few bloggers have brought it to my attention, so I popped on over, one last time to see what was up. From what she has been saying, it looks like Grumpy Bastard's place as my BFF is secure.

I haven't gone back to her site because I think she is a non-issue. She does not say, do, or post a single bit of helpful, inspiring, funny, educational, or thought provoking information. I get nothing from her. She doesn't upset me as I have zero respect for her or her mission, so I feel my time can be better spent doing almost anything else.

I have a deep admiration for the other bloggers that are standing up to her and calling her out for what she is, here is another fine example of someone doing just that, but for me I think my efforts are better served helping other victims stop being victims.

Joan has no desire to stop being a victim. For whatever reason, living a life of fear filled with anger and hatred serves her well. That mindset only served to make me fell empty, alone and hopeless, so I chose to find a better more constructive way to live my life and my life's mission is to help others do the same.

To be honest, I don't think Joan is much of an adversary. The number of people who are buying into the idea that it is the responsibility of the government to protect them is dwindling at an astonishing rate. Just look at what is going on in Wisconsin. Just look at the numbers climbing for gun ownership among women. Just look at the growing numbers for gun sales in general.

Empty rhetoric is not sustainable. The comments that are left on her posts prove that. The last one had 3. One was from our Jennifer, one was from Joan, and one was from the only guy that appears to support her. People get tired of being scared and angry and eventually they want solutions.

I think the best thing I can do for victims is to share my story and to give real solid resources to help them either avoid being a victim or help them heal from it.

I intend to spend my days doing just that.

I Give The Best Advice Of Any Blogger

2012-01-14T18:54:00.000-08:00

And here it is...if you want to know about guns, ammo, self defense, legel issues, training or anything involving tongue punching, you should probably not ask me.

My letter to the anti gun folks has brought me a lot of attention and thus a lot of new people coming to the blog, which I love, but I fear it has given people the false idea that I know something about guns.

My blog is 10 months old. Exactly the same amount of time that I have been shooting. I have learned a lot and I am happy to share my experiences with you and tell you what I have learned, but I am new, new, new and I am not qualified to give advice.

If, for whatever reason, you still want to email me or ask me a question here, that is fine. It's great. I truly want to help if I can, but chances are about 99% of the time, I am going to send you to the people that help me.

That letter I wrote was not some idealistic rambling. It has been my reality. I have relied heavily on a small community of gunnies that have followed my journey. They know me. They know my story and they have invested in my healing and growth. They are who I go to, a lot.

You don't have to go back very far in my archives to see the proof. My blog is primarily 3 things. A chronicle of my journey out of a bad situation. A place where I share what I have learned and a place where I ask questions. I ask a lot of questions.

If you have a question about the victim mindset or overcoming a bad guy encounter or what it is like to transition from non gunnie to gun nut, then I am your girl. If you are looking for someone who has access to the smartest, funniest, most supportive people on the planet, then I am your girl. If you are looking for someone to explain to you the what gun takes the 5.56x45 NATO cartridge then I am gonna have to refer you. Well, ok, I know that one, but you get the picture.

I say this not because I am annoyed or upset by the questions. I am not. Its been great talking with you all. I say it because I want you to have the best information you can get and the best thing I can do for you, is to point you in the right direction.

So, ask if you must, but be prepared to be redirected. Thanks so much for coming here to visit with me and to share, it has been a blast. I hope you stick around. I love having you here!

Three Weeks!!

2012-01-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

In just short 3 short weeks we will have our winner to the training Give-A-Way!! I am so excited!!

As I mentioned before, the participation in the Give-A-Way has far exceeded my expectations; because of that I am making another adjustments.

I mentioned before that I thought maybe 20 women would sign up, so I planned on just sticking their names in a hat and pulling one. Now we have around 200 women who have signed up, so I am not sure a hat is the best way to pick the winner. I know there are some computer programs that help with this. I might be using one of those. I still might do some modified version of picking a name from a hat. I will let you know.

We also have another prized donated by the very nice people over at Firearm Protector!!!!!! Please check out the side bar for details on the prize and maybe head to their site and leave a comment saying thanks!

There are so many aspects to preparing for self defense that sometimes it can seem overwhelming. Especially to those of us that are brand new, not only to guns, but just the idea of defending our lives. A basic course will touch on many different topics to help us get started in changing our thinking, but often times we will leave with more questions than answers. One of the things that was address in my conceal carry class, that left me with a whole lot of questions, was what to do after the shots are fired. We actually discussed it a lot, but there is no way to cover everything in one 2 day course.

I was reading this post this morning over at God, Gals, Guns, Grub and thought it was excellent. I would recommend reading it, maybe a couple of times.

More This and That

2012-01-13T05:55:00.000-08:00

The nice guy over at The Calm Gun had some unfortunate computer issues and was forced to create a new blog. Please go visit him at his new location.

Thanks again for all the nice comments about The Open Letter To The Anti Gun Folks. I am not sure what is consider a lot of views, but as of last night(day 3 of it being up) I had 12,852. My next largest viewed post is the Give-A-Way at 1,243. I am humbled by how many people have taken the time to read it and share their comments with me. I have been overwhelmed by your kindness.

In the rare instance that someone has been negative, I haven't bothered to defend myself or the post (except in one thread where I simple added clarification) because the people I care about knew what I meant and the others, well their opinions don't matter to me. If I knew that my post was going to go viral, as JD put it, I might have made some classifications, but probably not.

Moving on,

Recently we celebrated my birthday. My kids made me this cake and I put on my FaceBook that I didn't have candles in protest of vigils that serve no purpose and are ridiculous, but really my family just forgot to buy them.

This is what my family bought me for presents!!. I opened up a bag filled with these goodies and the first 2 things I pulled out were packages with what looked to me to be rope, so I said, "Am, I going repelling?" My husband, said, "Good grief no". "Not with 550 cord your not." I have a lot to learn and my husband, the Marine, he didn't really say "good grief":)

Thank God he stopped me or I might have gone off and done something stupid, like fling myself off a cliff and then I would have to join forces with Courtney and I really don't want to have to do that.

Noisy Room

2012-01-12T15:38:00.000-08:00

A wonderful woman from the Noisy Room sent me a very kind email today asking if she could repost my "Open Letter To The Anti Gun Folks" on her blog.

To say that I was flattered would be an understatement.

As my support and my community, I know you have already read my post, as you are the ones who inspired it, but if you would like see it on her blog go here.

Time To Plant The Seeds

2012-01-12T06:32:00.000-08:00

I stole that title from Sean.

Sean has planned an Appleseed trip and he has invited us all to come along.

My husband and I are taking him up on that offer and we both are very excited. This will be our first time, so I am nervous, but I have heard great things about the event and the people who put it on, plus I get to make Sean look at my tats, so its a win-win.

For more information go here.

Hope to see you all there.

Just In Case

2012-01-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

This is for the women, who like me, at one time, or maybe still, doubted their worth.

If you think for one minute you aren't worth the fight, think about this..

Someone else in your life does.

You, all by yourself matter. You don't need a single person to validate your worth, but if you are still working your way to that truth, think about someone, anyone, in your life who would miss you if you decided not to fight.

Small Changes

2012-01-11T06:15:00.000-08:00

So, I got another one of ones those "your blog is kind of jacked up" emails from North last night.

He told me my blog is kind of hard to read and suggested I make the font bigger and play with the colors a bit.

I want you all to know that I am aware that my blogs lacks, well everything. It's not a good design and you may want to sit down for this,

I don't know what I am doing.

The only person less skilled on a computer than me, is my husband. We literally email, search the web and FB. That is it.

When I first set up the blog, I picked a template, followed the prompts, and started typing. I hated the background color, font color etc. That is actually one of the reasons for so many paragraph breaks. The font size makes it hard to read. Also, I am terrible at asking for help or asking for anything from people, so I just never did. Plus, to be honest, I didn't even know I could change those things. I had seen cool stuff on other blogs, but I figured it was some professional thing and I am not spending money on a blog no one reads:)

I am still not spending money on the blog because I want to spend it on guns and other col stuff like that, but now that I know how, I will try to make it a better viewing and reading experience for you.

Please be patient as I try to play around the next few days and find what works best. I am not making massive changes. My blog is plain, but strangely, I have grown very attached to it and my new name. I love when you all call me "A Girl".

I am forever grateful to Mr. North for helping me so much! I desperately needed some assistance and you, as always, were there.

Not Surprised

2012-01-10T14:14:00.000-08:00

So, I was at Weer'd's place today and I read this, so I went and checked it out what Joan had to say.

I am not really confrontational and by not really, I mean, NOT AT ALL, and this will probably be the last time I go trolling in the anti cesspool, but she was talking about a vigil that I took part in and I thought I should at least attempt, one time to voice my feelings directly to her instead of just here safely behind 7000(that's how many of you have come to see me today) of my closest gun friends.

This is how it went...

I said- I am a victim of violence. I was standing in a parking lot, traumatized with my 7 year old daughter. It was not a good day. I participated in the candle light vigil along with my gun because if, God forbid, another awful man comes at me, I have no intention of taking a chance that the next time he just might get my daughter. I hate violence. I hate being a victim. I hate be vulnerable, but what I hate more is having someone tell me I don't have the right to fight back. This was not a mocking. It was a peaceful way to say it takes more than a candle to stop the bad guy.

She said- No one says you don't have a right to fight back. If you truly believe there are too many victims and actually lit a candle for that reason, then you believe what I believe. Otherwise, you are mocking. No one said candles would stop anything. You totally missed the point of the whole thing- on purpose I would add.

I said-This will be my last comment, but I do find it interesting that for a group that claims to care so much about people, you didn’t offer me one bit of concern. You didn’t say, gee that must have been hard or I am sorry for your daughter. You just said I missed the point. I think I got it. Loud and clear. Me, the person, the victim, doesn’t matter at all to you.

She said- Nothing. She didn't post it. She has posted other comments and 2 other posts, so I am thinking she is not gonna post it.

I was over at Newbie Shooter's place and read this. I like what he has to say much better.

The Give-A-Way

2012-01-10T06:20:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to do a quick update. We have 2 more prizes donated by 2 more fabulous people.

Bill over at Eastern Iowa Firearms training has donated a class for the winner and her friend if the winner either lives in Iowa or is willing to travel there. That is in addition to the $300 I am donating. That's a lot of training folks.

I, again, want to reiterate that all of this donations are going to a single winner and that all of them have come from the kind hearts of these fine people. I have only solicited one prize. All the rest have connected me and asked if they could contribute...THAT ROCKS!!

About that one that I solicited, a few days ago, I made a comment on my FaceBook about how much I was enjoying the Remora Holster, but was kind of bummed that I had misplaced my single mag pouch.

A few minutes later Jacqui Reilly from Remora posts a comment, "send me your address and I will send you a new one."

What? I didn't even know she followed my FB haps. Very cool.

I emailed her right a way and told her I would be happy to pay for my magazine pouch, but would she be at all interested in donating one of their fine holsters for the Give-A-Way.

Her answers, Absolutely! We would love to!

Score!!!!

Also, a few days ago, I got an email from the gentleman that runs the Weapon Blog, a blog that list all the contests, raffles, give-a-ways, etc.

He has listed our little Give-A-Way. Again, very cool!!! He has a lot of great contests listed, so if you haven't already, head on over and see if there is anything you would like to try for.

At the time I checked out his list, I noticed we are the only ones under the heading of training.

I am not sure if anyone else has given away trainings before, but I am starting to suspect that it is not something that has been done a lot.

Since we all know how important training is, I was a little surprised, so I am aiming to change that. I have a few things I am working on and lets just see if we can not make training a priority prize.

If you know of a group, blog, organization that is offering training as a prize please let me know and also let the Weapon Blog people know, so it can be listed there.

On a personal note, I was over visiting ZerCool's blog and he has a post about needing prayers. I do not have any details as it is none of my business, but I would appreciate you all heading over there, giving him some words of encouragement and if you are the praying kind, pray.

Good luck to everyone for whatever contest you choose! Have a great day! I am off to my real life!

It Was Bound To Happen

2012-01-09T16:16:00.000-08:00

I Have Haters or at least people who think I am dumb F&@k.

The

folks

over

at

Reddit.com

can't

stand

me

or

my

paragraph

breaks.

It's been a good day!!!!!

Thanks for all the support and thanks for all the hate. No one has ever hated me before(that I know of)and while those folks lack the artful use of profanity that our good friend Grumpy Bastard displays, they still made me laugh.

An Open Letter To The Anti-Gun Folks

2012-01-09T09:56:00.000-08:00

In 2005, my husband and I started the process to adopt a little girl from China. It was a brand new scary process that we knew nothing about. All we knew was that we wanted a child.

When I am passionate about something, I want to know everything I can about it. So, I did a lot of reading about China and adoption.

One of the people I read about was a woman named Gladys Aylward. She was a poor woman from London who wanted to go to China in the 1930's to be a missionary. but she had no skills, no education and she didn't speak the language, so no formal organization would allow her to go.

She was angry and frustrated, but she didn't give up. She spent a year working and saving, so she could make the trek on her own.

As she spent time in China, it become more and more her home. More and more a place she belonged and eventually, a place, she never wanted to leave.

Things got very ugly in China when the Japanese invaded and her family wanted her to leave, but she refused.

No matter how dangerous it got, she would not walk away from the people she had grown to love.

She said, "Greater Love Has No One Than This, That He Lay Down His Life For A Friend"- John15:13.

She said, "These are my people".

Unlike Gladys, I didn't want to be in this community.

I came here purely out of a desperate need.

A need to save my life.

What I found here is rare.

The gun community is a generous community. It is unlike any other I have been associated with.

I did, for a while, belong to the adoption community for a few years and though I am still crazy passionate about children and orphans.

Those are not my people.

I did, for a while, belong to the church going Christian community and though I am still crazy passionate about God.

Those are not my people.

Generally a group, any group, has an agenda. Stated or not. Conscious or not. No matter how well meaning, they almost always want something.

That something is usually steeped in power and control.

Politicians, religions, schools, the anti gun crowd, you name it. They want to bring you for what you can give them, which is often nothing more than a feeling of power and self worth for the leaders of the group.

They want to take something from you in order to gain something for themselves.

Not this group.

In the past 10 months, I have gained so much more than the ability to line my front site on the target.

This group has welcomed me when I had absolutely nothing to offer them.

I was empty.

I was broken.

I need things I was to weak to even know I needed.

I came here desperate and searching.

Day by day this community, these gun people, bult me up.

They never once pretend to be anything other than exactly who they are.

They didn't try to wrap themselves up in a pretty little package to draw me in.

They didn't use smoke and mirrors and they never, not once, lied to me.

They told me things I didn't want to hear. They showed me things I didn't want to see. They made me face thing I didn't want to face.

All while holding my hand and guiding me and nurturing me and givng me a safe place to grow.

They wanted me to grow.

They wanted me to be stronger.

They wanted me to be able to depend on myself.

They gave me everything they had, so I wouldn't need them any more.

They gave me tools and guidance, so that I could soar and each and every time I took a step forward, they have been there, to say, good for you. Job well done.

They did this, not because of me.

Not because I am something special.

They did it because they are special.

They are rare and they are so very, very special.

It is who they are.

Dig deep. Dig into the core of their being.

This is who they are.

You, you who hate guns, you gave me nothing.

No hope.

No tools.

All that was offered me was a life of fear, of resentment, of bitterness, of dependance...

The gun community has offered me hope and strength, and courage.

They have taught me to have belief in myself.

They have asked nothing of me in return and, yet, I would give them my life.

Funny thing is, they would never ask me to.

This is where I belong.

These are my people.

This And That

2012-01-09T06:36:00.000-08:00

First, I want to say thank you again to everyone who has entered the Give-A-Way. I truly thought maybe 20 people would enter and after the 3rd day with only entry, I thought, well this is going to be easy, but on day 6, here I sit with hundreds of entries.

I think it is remarkable how many of you are taking a proactive steps in defense of your life and freedoms. You rock!!!

Second, I really want to apologize. This blog thing is kicking my butt. I had no idea how many emails I would get from so many of you.

I love it.

I love not getting an ounce of sleep because there is something about me, that has compelled you to want to share part of your life's story with me. I promise you I am reading them all and I care very much. I am humbled and blessed by each of you. I am trying to respond and to visit everyone's blogs, but sometime I read one and think I will get to it, but then more pour in and I don't back to it. I need a better system.

Let me tell you that it never, ever, not once occurred to me that anyone would read this blog. I was woefully unprepared for the way it has exploded over the past few months. I am trying to balance my real life with my virtual life. I have made real friends through this blog. People I have connected with and who have impacted my life on a deeper more personal level and it is important to me that I nurture those relationships. I want to give back by commenting on their blogs, sending emails, and just being there for them. I also have a ton of kids and a hubby who need me plus I am still trying to learn all things guns. So, if I have not gotten back to you please know that it is an oversight. I can not guarantee I will get back to you, but I am trying. I appreciate your comments on this blog and through email. Really, I do.

Thirdly, to all you bloggers out there...sorry again. I am realizing(I kind of suspected) I don't know what the heck I am doing. If I have forgot to credit you or ask your permission or broke a rule, I really didn't mean to. Thank God for North sending me emails from time to time to tell me how jacked up I am and telling me how to fix it, or this could have been even uglier.

Basically, what I am trying to say is that I am all kinds of whacked, but I am having a blast and trying extremely hard.

That is all. Carry on.

I Don't Cuss Gosh Darn It!

2012-01-08T18:24:00.000-08:00

As I have mentioned before, I don't cuss, but if I were going to, this is how I would do it.

Grumpy Bastard

I have never read this blog before and I know he is seriously frustrated and he should be. Very good points, but I nearly peed my pants from laughing.

Excellent use of profanity.

*He is probably a huge blogger, but I am new and just now making my way around the blog-o-sphere, so I am late coming to all the jewels that are out there. I am finding that I have been very, very sheltered.

Home On The Range

2012-01-08T07:40:00.000-08:00

An excellent post over at Home On The Range.

I Need A Maid, A Nanny, and A Prostitute

2012-01-08T03:23:00.000-08:00

I am spending so much time on this dang computer reading gun blog after gun blog that I need to hire some folks to clean my house, take care of my kids and service my husband.

And by service my husband I mean cook him meals and care for his children.

The prostitute is for me.

I am hoping she can give me a few pointers on how to move things a long a little quicker and still knock his socks off.

I wonder if anyone has ever incorporated blogging into foreplay.

Dang, now I am getting excited. Where's my husband?

Light A Candle Or...

2012-01-08T01:39:00.000-08:00

Collin Goddard and The Brady Campaign have a very interesting approach to violence.

The basic principal is for people to walk around blindly hoping nothing bad happens to them and if something bad does happen, you are to give the bad guy everything he wants.

In the event that things starts to get ugly, just play dead and again hope you make it out alive, but whatever you do, do not fight back.

The bad guy might get mad.

If by some miracle you do make it out of there, then you have a new mission.

Spend the rest of your life trying to convenience the rest of the world what a great plan being a victim is.

The only thing stupider then their plan, would be me. I actually followed it to a "T".

I walked around blindly giving no thought to my safety, until the bad guy wouldn't let me any longer.

Their plan didn't serve me to well and it sucked the day my eyes were slammed wide open.

Let me just say...

IT ISN'T A GOOD PLAN!

Here's a better one...

STOP walking around blindly.

STOP with the victim mindset.

It is isn't serving you or me or anyone well.

Make a plan.

One that includes being responsible for your own life.

Carry a gun, don't carry a gun, I don't care(except you really should carry a gun and actually, I care deeply), but have a plan to be proactive in defense of YOUR life.

I can promise you, the bad guy has a plan for you and it ain't pretty.

Here is one of the many things I do as part of my plan...

This is my holster. This is my gun. It is loaded. It is chambered. And except for the very rare occasion when the law prevents me, it resides on my left hip.

For more on this go to Weer'd World

So What's Up With The Tats?

2012-01-07T05:47:00.000-08:00

A woman sent me a very lovely email telling me about her story and asking to be entered in the Give-A-Way and at the end of her email she said...

No offense, but you don't seem like a person who would have a tattoo, so what's up with the tats?

She was not being rude and I was not offended or bothered in the least. We have shared a couple emails since and all is good.

I was surprised a little by the question because it seems like now a days everyone has a tattoo or at least someone from every walk of life.

However, she is not the first person to ask me about them. I used to get that a lot.

A few years ago, I was a youth leader at a church and one day when I bent over to pick something up, my blouse revealed one of my tattoos. A parent was standing there and when she saw it she was shocked and not a happy camper. She was so upset by it that she went to the pastor to complain. She couldn't believe a person like me had a tattoo and she wanted me to get up in front of the church to renounce all tattoos and admit my mistake.

I did not do that.

I like tattoos, especially mine.

I was a little late coming to the game though.

I was not a rebellious teenager, but a 26 year old college professor.

Getting a tat was not something I had ever thought to do. Not because I was against them, I just never thought about them one way or the other.

One day I was at a local brewery with some colleagues when one of the women suggested we get tattoos. I think it started out as a joke, but 3 days later we were at Beachin Tattoo in southern California getting all tatted up.

I am sure getting a tattoo is not considered wild anymore, but for me it was the closest thing to wild as I had ever gotten.

Plus I was nervous.

The thought of some person jamming a needle into my flesh didn't sound all that appealing.

I was the not the cool cat that I am now.

Anyhoo, since I had never thought about a tattoo, I had no idea what I wanted to have permanently poked into me.

After looking at a ton of pictures, I finally just had a friend draw a design for me.

My first tattoo is of an AT-6 carrying a banner that reads Women Can. I like airplanes and I love the spirit of women, especially those that have overcome life's obstacles.

Women flew the AT-6 in WWII and the banner is an homage to Rosie The Riveter.

My second tattoo came just a few months later. It's an abstract symbol, again done by a friend, representing a quote. I forget who said it, but it comes from a book of women's quotes, that I have misplaced.

The quote is "In My Friend, I Find A Second Self"

I have no idea what the woman meant when she said it, but to me it doesn't mean someone exactly like me. It doesn't mean when I look at them, I see myself. I like who I am, but I don't want the whole world to be me.

To me, the quote means, someone who I am as comfortable being myself with, as I actually am being myself.

I always am who I am, but not everyone appreciates that. Those who do, they are my friends.

My 3rd tattoo didn't come for many years later. I was probably 36. It was after our daughters came home from China.

I wanted to do more for the kids still waiting for homes, so my husband and I, along with our good friend and her husband, opened a non- profit organization. We placed grants on special needs children waiting in China.

The non-profit was named after our daughters and since I loved helping the children and I loved our daughters, I got a tattoo to represent both.

I almost got another tattoo a few months ago. I had a local tattoo artist draw up a design with my Glock and the American flag that was to be placed on my right thigh, but life got busy and I just haven't got back there.

I am not sure that I will. It's not cheap and I think I would rather spend the money on an actual gun or say a Give-A-Way.

So, that's what's up.

Give-A-Way

2012-01-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

Please review the Give-A-Way post for updated requirements.

The age for this Give -A- Way is 21 or older.

I did consult with some people and 21 years of age or older is what was recommended to me.

Sorry for any confusion.

I am absolutely for training children, girls and boys, very early, but for the purpose of this Give-A-Way, the requirement is that the winner be at least 21 years old.

Thank you again to all who have spread the word, donated and especially to those who have entered.

You have kept me very, very busy, but I could not be more thrilled.

Rifles, Rifles, Rifles, or is it a Shotgun???

2012-01-06T06:44:00.000-08:00

I am crazy in love with my handgun and I am beyond anxious to purchase my next one later this month, but, after my trip to the range a few weeks ago and getting to shoot some rifles, I now have a new love.

The thing about me, is that I don't have to know you well or even understand you to be in love with you. I knew my husband for about a minute and married him, but eventually, I kind of like to move past the shiny fun parts and get to the heart of the matter.

I have been blog hopping and reading and trying to learn about all things long gun. So far it has been fun, but not much learning has taken place.

You people know to much. I mean that in the best possible, you knock my socks off, but I can't keep up, kind of way.

It all starts to blend together after a while. I think it will get much better for me after my trip to North Carolina for the Appleseed event, where I get to shoot more rifles or shotguns, not sure, but until then I could use some clarification.

I need a basic explanation of the difference between a rifle and a shotgun and what the heck they are used for.

Here is what I know or what I think I know...

A riffle uses a regular bullet and can reach a target farther away than a hand gun??

A shotgun uses that casing thing with a lot of tiny "balls"?? Mostly used for hunting??

I know a lot of people talk about a shotgun for home defense, but others talk about an AR or AK which are riffles?? Which one has the pump action?? Shotgun??

A gentleman from my husband's office sent him home with this pretty little number

Amber Dot Sight, what would it be called, an attachment?

My husband explained what it does and I spent time scooping out all the knick knacks in my house in case any of them ever revolt, but do I need that?

I realize this is probably a long and exhaustive discussion with many opinions, but I would be most grateful for the basic run down.

Any takers?

A Quickie

2012-01-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

Not my favorite kind, but still feels pretty good. In this case really, really good.

We are now officially up to 1000 rounds for the Give-A-way.

A THOUSAND ROUNDS!

This winner is one fortunate lady.

Pay attention all who have entered...look at the number of people who are willing to invest in you and your well being.

Remarkable!

These are some absolutely remarkable people.

A huge thank you to The Calm Gun who is donating 250 rounds and the Old NFO who is donating 200 more!

Tomorrow, I will link both their blogs and add them to the side bar Give-A-way post.

Also, The Calm Gun has a podcast. I am still learning how to do this techy stuff, but if you goggle him, you will find his channel(is it called a channel??). Again, tomorrow when I am at an actual computer I will figure out how to link it directly, but I was so excited to let you all know, I had to type up a quick post.

Thank you so much to all the women who have enterd. I am so excited to see how many of you are taking that first step(or next step) to more more control, more security, more freedom.

I love all the stories you are sharing with me. Thank you for letting me, us, be a small part of your journey.

My Head Is Spinning

2012-01-05T13:38:00.000-08:00

I had a somewhat low key day where I only needed to do a few of this and that around the house, so instead of doing the this and that I really should have been doing, I played on the computer.

I tried to visit all the blogs of the folks that follow A Girl, but I got side tracked clicking on different blogs on their pages and it spiraled out of control.

I read and clicked and typed and now my eyes are completely bugging out.

It was not a wasted day though. Much was gained.

What I learned...

There are some seriously funny cleaver people out in the blog world. Might have peed my pants a time or two. Sometimes from laughing. Sometimes just because I was to lazy to get up.

There are some seriously smart knowledgable folks out there. I have about 4000 more questions to ask, so I hope Weer'd, JD and the rest of you have cleared your schedules for the next cople of weeks, we have some work to do.

There are some seriously dilugional peeps out there. Some of whom make me glad I carry a gun. Thinking about getting a bigger one.

All in all, not a bad day.

Now that I am seriously in a good mood, but feeling not so smart and a little scared, I am getting off this computer, grabbing some wine and hanging with the populous that reside in my home.

Violence...Not A Fan

2012-01-05T06:01:00.000-08:00

I am very behind on blog reading. There are so many good blogs and I took 2 weeks off from the computer, so catching up has taken some time.

Anyway...

I stopped over at Weer'd Beard's blog to look around cuz it is always educational for me or at least mildly humorous and sometimes even down right hysterical.

Anyway...

I came across a post he wrote on December 29th.

Love it!

Since I am, in fact, against violence AND against people who do nothing to stop it AND am for people and actions that do try to stop it AND since I think he has a great idea, I am going to join in on his effort.

How about you?

The Give-A-Way

2012-01-04T05:54:00.000-08:00

*UPDATE* I changed the dates. There is no reason we need to wait until March for the drawing. I picked March because that was the month on the one year mark, but who cares. 30 days is plenty of time and I think there are actually a lot of good courses that take place in March, so it will run from yesterday January 3rd, 2012 to February 3, 2012 at midnight. The drawing will be on February 4, 2012.

Last month I started talking to my husband about wanting to do something positive and encouraging for the women out there that might be like me.

Women, who for whatever reason are looking for a way to help themselves.

So as we approach the one year mark of the event that literally changed my life, I have decided to have a Give-A-Way.

And it is just that, a Give_A-Way. There is nothing for you to do. You don't have to give any money to my favorite charity, or like me on FaceBook, or even let me blog about your training(although I would really love it, if you do). It is just my gift to one of you.

I have been very blessed by this community and I have been very blessed by the training and support I have received, so what better gift can I give a woman, than the gift of freedom.

The freedom that comes from knowing she can defend herself.
I think we all know that simply taking one class won't necessarily do that, but it's a start.

As I said in my last post, "Good guys don't always win, but together I think we can up the odds".

I would like to help one woman up the odds, so if you are interested keep reading...

Here are the details...

The prize:

I will pay $300 towards any reputable beginning self defense shooting course in the United States.

Who Can Enter:

Any female 21 years of age or older who is interested in taking the next step in learning how to defend herself in the event that she may need to. I would really prefer it be a new shooter that hasn't had any formal training to this point.

How To Enter:

Leave a comment specifically saying you would like to enter or email me at agirlandhergun@gmail.com subject Give-A-Way.

This will run from January 3, 2012- February 3, 2012 at midnight and must be redeemed by September 2012.

On February 4, 2012, I will put the names into a "hat" and pick one. That person will have until September 2012 to register for a class and when she does, I will send the $300 to the school/course/instructor.

It can not be redeemed for cash and can not be used for any other purpose. If the winner does not register for a course by September 2012, the prize will be forfeited and the drawing will be redone with the remaining names.

I would appreciate you're help in spreading the word. I think there in only one official entry right now, so the odds of winning are pretty darn good.

I am very excited about this and you all will be doing me a huge FAVOR, if you let me be a part of doing something positive for you!

In A Way, Your Kind Of Lucky...

2012-01-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, someone in passing made the statement to me that this blogging thing and joy I found in shooting was a result of the bad guy encounter and, in a way, I was kind of lucky.

It made me grumpy, but I didn't plan on spending any time on it, so ignored it and just moved on.

Then last week, I was exchanging emails with someone who said, I am sorry for all that has happened, but I am glad you came through it. She meant it to be supportive and it was. Made me smile, but my answer to her was, I give the bad guy no credit, but...I went on to say, well it is important. That was between us.

For the past couple of days I have been thinking about that first person and more and more it annoys me, so I decided to address it here.

The statement made upset me on a lot of levels. It implied that a bad person did me a favor and it implies that other people who have never been mugged are not as lucky and those that have had much worse are what, even more lucky than me???

Regardless of what has happened since I was mugged, that event was not a lucky one. It was not a good one in any shape or form.

I would love to say I laughed in the face of death, but I didn't. I still don't.

If part of this guys motivation was to scare me, he succeeded.

I hate that.

I hate that he got any kind of thrill from what he did, but I would be lying if I said that I was anything other than deeply traumatized, however, for him, it's a short lived thrill.

And the credit goes to me.

Not me alone. As I have said many, many times my family, my friends and this community helped me find my way back, stronger and better and that is good, but it shouldn't have happened.

The truth is, if there were no bad guys, I could walk around in a stupor of joy and security. It wouldn't matter if I were in condition yellow or red. It wouldn't make a flying flippin' bit of difference if I knew what double action or single action is and shooting could be nothing more than an incredibly fun sport for me.

No credit is deserved for forcing me to find a way to fight my way back to my life.

I liked my life before. I miss it sometimes. I miss the innocents I had. I miss sound nights of sleep. I sleep peacefully, but not as soundly as before. I miss going into a restaurant and having a glass of wine. I miss my blind belief that people really are good and the world is safe.

But, it is what it is and, the good news...

I love my life now.

It is most certainly different, but I feel better about who I am.

There is a certain satisfaction in facing adversity and coming through it. I would guess my husband didn't think in less than a year I would be here.

Happy. Calm. Confident. Determined. Free.

That was not my personality. I was a delicate little flower or so I thought.

It turns out, I am pretty tough and I am not easily knocked down.

I can take a punch.

It will knock me down and it will sting, but it will not destroy me.

The credit goes to me, my choices, my spirit, my support system.

The bad guy did a bad thing. There is not one ounce of good in that. Not one bit of positive spin can go to him. Not one tiny little nugget of luck.

Every good and wonderful thing that has happened since that day is not luck.

It took hard work and effort to not let the bad take over the good and with some grace from my Creator and the gifts He brought me, a whole heck of a lot of good has transpired in my life and I am grateful for that, but it was not luck.

I am not lucky.

I am blessed.

I am fortunate.

I have been planning a special treat for a few months that I was going to announce next month, but this post has inspired me to do it today.

As I approach the one year mark of that day, I wanted to do something positive.

The truth is I really do not dwell on that day anymore. I can talk about it without crying and without fear. It is a memory, but it is not a powerful one.

As you all know I give an enormous amount of credit for that to my conceal carry class and instructor, so I want to give that gift to another woman.

I am giving away a basic self defense shooting course to one woman.

You don't have to do anything to get it.

You don't have to like me on FaceBook.

You don't have to donate to my favorite charity.

All you have to do is make a commitment to your own life that says I will not let the bad guys win. I will do everything in my power to fight. I will do everything I can to get over a bad guy encounter or, even better, prevent one from every happening.

So, if you are a woman, a new shooter who has yet to take a basic course, then all you have to do it leave a comment and I will enter your name in the drawing.

If your a man and you want to enter on behalf of a special lady in your life, that is fine.

I will except names until February 3rd, 2012(edited to reflect new deadline)and the winner will have until September 2012 to register for a course. I am putting a 6 month time limit because I want someone who is serious about going to a training. It is to easy to have good intentions and never get it done.

I will pay, from my own pocket, $300 toward any reputable beginners self defense shooting course in the United States.

I am not rich. We are a single income household and I have lots of my own shooting courses I would like to attend, but I am so committed to helping other women fight for their lives, that I am willing to put some of my own on hold and pay for one of yours.

Good guys don't always win, but together I think we can up the odds.

She Shoots

2012-01-02T16:22:00.000-08:00

My 8 year old daughter loves to shoot. For her birthday last year she asked for a pink gun and she got one, a Thompson .22, pink camo rifle. I have posted about it before. Today she asked to go shooting, so my husband said, sure, let's go.

To our surprise our 13 year old asked to go along. If you have been reading my blog long you already know she is not a big fan of guns. She no longer hates them or is against them, in fact, she is quite the advocate for people shooting, just not her.

She is just plain afraid.

We have taken the slow and easy approach. Lots of very relaxed education. We do not spend every waking moment talking about guns. In our house it really is just a part of our day. I brush my teeth, I shower, I eat breakfast, I carry a gun. I don't spend anytime pointing those things out on a daily basis. It just is what I do.

At the dinner table she talks about making the volleyball team or winning class president and I talk about my day at the range. It is just a natural discussion as we share our lives.

We don't tell her people who don't shoot are stupid or weak or cowards and we don't pressure her.

We are, however, honest with her about how we feel about her responsibility to face her fears and to take seriously her responsibility to take care of herself.

Our relationship is honest and we love her and are gentle, but we don't lie and we don't sugar coat.

My desire for her to learn to handle a gun is not a secret to her.

If I go to the range I ask her to come and most of the time the answer is no thank you, but a few times it has been sure.

This had been the first time she asked to go.

I was thrilled for her and wished I was going too.

While they were there my husband took pictures and texted them to me. I was so excited that she was there, shooting!!

When she got home she showed me her targets and then ran off to do teenage things.

A while later she came up to me, hugged me and very quietly asked me if I was proud of her for shooting and if I thought she did well.

I told her I was very proud and that I thought she shot wonderfully, but I told her the thing I was most proud of was that she faced her fear.

Every time she shoots, she tells us she is scared and every time after she leaves, she says she isn't that fond of it, but she hasn't given up. She goes and she shoots.

After dinner she asked to see what people were saying about her on my FB page and she thought it was cool people were saying nice things. Thanks for doing that. You all made a new shooter feel special.

Then she said, "Mom, I really like Minnie Mo's gun." "The more I shot, the more relaxed I was and I started to have fun." "I was scared, but dad is so good at walking me through it and plus he pushed me a little." "I think I need to be pushed."

Those words echoed inside my head and I fought back tears.

She was raised to hate guns.

She was raised to be afraid.

She was raised be nice, too nice.

She is being raised to love herself.

She is being raised to fight.

She is facing her fears.

and, today,

She shoots.

Like mother, like daughter.

Woman With Her Gun

2012-01-02T09:15:00.000-08:00

One of the best most unexpected things about blogging has been the people I have met. Just a very, very cool thing!!

One of the people that I have "met" through blogging emailed me a few weeks ago. She has been following me almost from the beginning. She leaves comments here and on my FB page and has just been sweet, sweet, sweet to me.

Over the past week or so, we have exchanged a few emails and in the course of our back and forth, I, of course, asked her how she came to be a woman with a gun.

I am fascinated by how different we all are and how we are all not so different at all. Her story is a neat one and so, of course, I asked her if she would let me share it on this blog.

Graciously she agreed and sent me the story with some really great pictures.

I had planned to share her story today, but last night she sent me an email with some exciting news...she is starting her own blog!!! I am so excited for her and to welcome her to the fold.

Sooooo, instead of posting her story here, I am going to send you all to her new blog!

Go read her gun story and maybe leave a little love to encourage her on her new blogging path!

2012!!

2012-01-02T04:50:00.000-08:00

This is going to be a great year!

I usually refrain from make grand declarations in the positive because it seems like every time I do, life finds a way to humble me, BUT, in an effort to let the outward me represent the new inward me, I am being bold today!

It is only January 2 and I have already been to a gun show, made plans to do some shopping this month for some gun goodies, I am going to training in Febuary, it looks like I wil have ample opportunities to hit the range and my husband and I might be going to an Appleseed event with several other bloggers!!!!

There are a few problems with the last one, like it requires riffles and I don't have one, but someone is working on that and hopefully it will all work out.

Last year was a year with much sadness and emotional difficulty, but much was learned and many wonderful things happened, to include all of you. Many of you who took the time to leave a comment, reach out to me, offer advice, support and comfort. I am sure no one viewed their actions as extraordinary, but to me they were. They truly made huge impact on me and on my ability to move forward. It was a gift I didn't ask for(the very best kind) but one I treasure daily. With all sincerity and appreciation, THANK YOU!

I am so looking forward to chatting with all of you. Visiting your blogs and sharing this exciting year together!

Labels, Labels, Everywhere, But Not A Single One For Me.

2011-12-31T20:53:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, my friend bought me Boston's Gun Bible and I finally had the chance to sit down and read a bit.

I skipped the first two chapters that, I will, of course, get back to, but I have been pretty obsessed with the whole sheep, sheepdog kind of thinking that is very prevelant in the gun world.

Chapter 3 piqued my interest in this area.

Not too far into the chapter he, the author, Boston T Party, declares there are only 3 kinds of people: predators, prey, and those who refuse to be either.

He says that if you do not have the will or training to defend yourself, then you are, by default prey.

I agree that if you know the facts and the dangers and you willing decide to do nothing to make yourself less of a victim and/or do nothing to defend yourself in the event that you are in danger, then you are prey.

It's not an opinion, it is fact. Bad guy after bad guy will tell you, they look for unprepared, defenseless people to "prey" on.

I was the perfect prey, but it was not that I decided not to prepare. I truly did not believe that I needed to. Well, believe is to strong a word. I didn't think about it at all. I bought into both the liberal propaganda and the religious rhetoric. Be a good person, don't go into "bad" areas, lock your doors, pray and you will safe.

I was never ever afraid to go to a grocery store in the middle of the day.

While I might have been prey, there was no conscious choice to be prey. Granted, there was no conscious choice not be prey either, but I didn't say, "Hey, this is dangerous, but I am going to do it anyway and leave it up to some "sheepdog" to save me.

The author, says, in order to avoid being pray, you must embrace the warrior spirit.

Now, that I can buy.

He says, as I have said, and as many others have said, "At some point in our lives, we all must fight."

It may not be a bad guy coming after you demanding money or your body, it may be cancer or other hardships, but regardless, at some point we all have to decide our life has value and consciously decide to fight for it.

Unfortunately, too many people live in a state of true ignorance and by the time the wolf comes knocking at their door, they are completely unprepared.

That was me. Once I knew the facts. Once I was staring the predator in the face and could no longer live in that dangerous state of bliss, I had a choice to make.

Being a victim was easy. Sticking my head in the sand and doing nothing takes no effort at all and there is an odd kind of security in living that lie.

Facing my fears and not turning away, took effort and work.

Lying in my husband's arms crying was easy.

Miserable.

Torturous.

Limiting, but comfortable.

There is comfort in what we know. As awful as the status quo is, change or the idea of it, is more awful.

It is often said, "The first step is the hardest."

A lie.

The first step was hard, but no where near as gut wreaching as the second or the third, which almost killed me.

Second guessing your choices can be a bear.

Once I decided to fight, I felt relief and thought it's over now. The fear and pain will be over, but they weren't.

Sure, there were moments of peace and I felt good about moving forward, but the fear and doubt kept coming back, again and again.

The daily struggle to continue to face those demons sucked, and I can't count the number of times I almost gave up.

Not giving up, that was the hardest step. Probably about 100 steps before, I no longer felt afraid, ashamed, guilty.

About a million before I could say, without an ounce of trepidation,

I will fight and you will lose,

and to believe it.

When I read...

"Mothers defending their offspring can exhibit terrifying ferociousness, but they must be trained to become ferocious when protecting themselves."

I actually lost my breath for a minute.

That about sums it up for me.

The old me.

I wonder what would have happened if my daughter wasn't with me that day. I bought some time by doing things to distract the guy while I tried to get her to a safe place. I never one time thought about myself. In fact, for weeks, she was the only thing I thought of.

I wonder, if I had been alone, if I would have bothered to fight at all or if I would have just given up the second he approached me.

I instinctively knew she was worth every effort to protect, although I was totally unprepared, I didn't just hand her over to the creep. I didn't have to be taught that she was worth my life.

What I had to be taught was that "he" was NOT worth MINE.

I am not sure if I am a sheepdog or a warrior. I don't know if any label fit me before or if any of them fit me now.

What I do know is that I no longer have to be taught to be ferocious.

I Have A Friend

2011-12-23T08:30:00.000-08:00

I am on vacation with my family and I am not suppose to be on the blogs or FaceBook and pretty soon I will be too busy hanging with everywhere to be, but I got an email from a friend this morning and I wanted to share.

My friend, let's call her Mary, forwarded me an email to a basic pistol course. I sent back a reply you should go since we had yet another bank robbery yesterday and a convicted murderer is running around town, envading the police.

She returned an email saying "where?"

Me- "our town" and said, "don't you read the newspaper?".

Her- "no, to depressing and scary".

She looks up the info and says "interesting".

I said, "yes, interesting in a girl needs to know how to protect herself kind of way".

She recently lost 100lbs and she said, well when I was bigger I never worried about that, who wants to move that kind of weight, but now maybe I need to think about it.

My response was bad guys don't think like that and your life has always had value.

Now to be fair, I think she was partially joking, but I think she was also partially serious.

Let me say this lady has always been beautiful and weight is not the determining factor for anybody.

But, lets be clear, rape and other crimes against women are not about beauty. They are acts of violance. They are committed by bad guys and all of us are at equal risk.

Regardless of size, we all matter equally. All of our lives are worth fighting for and defending.

The bad guy is looking for money, power, control, the thrill of harming, and how we look has nothing to do with it. He does not see you or me has a person with worth, so you and I darn well better.

You matter. Whatever your flaws or mine, whatever we think we maybe lacking, we are valuable and you better face the fact that world is ugly and if you don't make up your mind to fight, you are at a higher risk. Not of being attacked, but of losing if you do.

There are lots of people who can help you prepare, but you have to look in the mirror and say, "Not today" "I am to valuable and you picked the wrong girl cuz, I will fight you til one of us is dead if I have to, but rest assured it's not going to be me."

I love you Mary and I hope you decide to fight.

LEO, LEO, Everywhere

2011-12-21T14:19:00.000-08:00

We are traveling through Indiana and my husband is speeding right along, and since he was speeding, one of the state troopers pulled us over.

I am sure you all will be shocked to learn, I have never been pulled over and don't have much experience with the police, so I was not happy with my man.

I did not need to worry.

The officer approached my side of the car, but did not come all the way up to the window. I rolled down my window, he peaked around the door frame, checked things out, then came up further and asked for license and registration and said we were going a bit to fast. 81mph to be exact.

He went back to his car and returned a few minutes later saying, no worries, just a warning, slow it down. He asked us where we were going, then said Have a Merry Christmas!

Hubby no longer in the dog house.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

We are on the road, so I might not get to post much. I just wanted to say...

Many, many times this year...

I may have....

Disturbed You,

Troubled You,

Pestered You,

Irritated You,

Bugged You,

Or got on your Nerves!!

So today, as we enter the holiday season, I just wanted to tell you...

Suck it up, Cupcake!!

Cause there

AIN'T NO CHANGES

Planned for 2012

The Remora

2011-12-20T11:32:00.000-08:00

A while back I saw this video and thought it was interesting. I had never seen anything like it and it intrigued me, but I never thought to buy the holster because I was just starting out and in the beginning all I wanted to do was work with my one gun and one holster and becoming very, very comfortable with both.

My goal was self defense and my focus was working, daily with what I would be wearing all the time. I wanted zero variation because at that time I was doubting not only my skill, but my ability to make good choices.

I was counting on muscle memory to kick in and I wanted to give it every advantage by always carrying the same gun, in the same holster and in the same place.

As, I got more comfortable I experimented a little with the Ruger LCP and the Chic Holster, but until recently, I have stuck to the Glock 27 in a Crossbreed. Very happy with both, but a few weeks ago I read That Texas Lady's review of the Remora No Clip Holster. Reading her review I becoming very interested because she said she wore hers to the gym.

When I go to the gym, I am not armed and I don't like it, so to have a holster that would give me the ability to carry, caught my interest. Her review was favorable, so I headed to their site to check them out.

The price was well within my budget, so I figured it was worth the risk the order one and see if it would work for me.

As with just about every single thing on this journey, it has been a series of trail and errors and learning from the choices I make.

Without thinking it through I ordered a holster to fit my Glock 27. That is the gun I carry and so not thinking about the gym(you know the whole reason I was buying this holster) I hit buy. In hindsight I probably should have bought the holster to fit my Ruger LCP because it is small and therefore more concealable in workout clothes.

Also, I bought the one that is designed with a reinforced top to make for easier reholstering. Again, not really thinking that, that feature would add bulk in a place I am trying to be discrete.

Anyway, last week my package from Remora arrived and to my surprise it included their regular holster without the reinforced top and 3 magazine pouches. One single and one double. I have no idea why they included these extras, but there was a hand written note, so I know it was not a mistake.

For the past several days I have been wearing both holsters, practicing my daily routine of drawing and dry firing with each one and also just wearing them as I go about my daily activities.

I don't dry fire the holsters, but everyday I try to practice drawing from my holster and dry firing and various other things to improve my skills. I have been wearing the Remora for these little sessions.

The holster with the reinforced mouth that keeps it open is great for this. It does not move. I pull and pull and out comes my gun, but the holster does not move. I love that and reholstering is easy. One handed, not looking, no issue. Not really good for concealing in just a shirt or sweater. too bulky for the kind of clothes I wear. Now, it is winter, so under a jacket, of course, it's not a problem. I could hide a dead body under my coat.

The regular holster without the reinforced opening is very concealable.

Even with my Glock in workout clothes, it is very hard to detect anything is under there, let alone a gun.

Now, since I am a new, I did what I am used to doing.

What is it they say about experience?

I put on my holster, loaded it and tried to holster. After about 2 seconds I stopped and was thought, I am going to blow my finger off trying to get this thing in this holster. Literally, 2 seconds, I did not fumble around for 10 minutes before I realized this was not a good plan.

Instead, I put the gun in the holster and then put the holster on. This I love. It is so easy to position this thing exactly where I want it and it is so easy to take off.

When I say on and off, it is more like placing it and removing it. There is no clip. There is nothing to put on or take off. Go watch the video and you will what I mean.

One thing I am not super fond of about the Crossbreed is that it is a pain to take off and forget about moving it. That is good, of course, who wants a holster that moves around, but it can frustrate me from time to time.

Again, the more comfortable I have become with the holster and have learned exactly where I want to place it, that has become less and less of an issue, but still I very much enjoy the ease in which I can put on and off the Remora.

I was hoping that I would not have to wear a belt with this holster. I hate belts. I think they are uncomfortable and they make me look chunky. Add a big holster and a gun and now my world has just become a nightmare. In addition to look lumpy, it seems like I can never have the hole in the place I need it. Either the belt is to loose and therefore my pants sag to one side, or way to tight and I look and feel like I am about to explode. This I don't like. I have found 2 belts, just 2 that seem to work with most of my pants, but not all, so the idea of no belt made me very happy.

Unfortunately, for me, my shape and clothes, I still need to wear a belt. It might be the size or weight of my gun, but my pants still seem to travel down if I don't wear a belt. The only exception to that is if I wear spandex. It works fine if I am working out and I wear spandex under my running shorts. Gun did not move, holster did not move. I run fast. I have long legs and I still didn't have an issue.

Traditionally, I do not carry a spare magazine on my body unless I am at the range and I need for training; however, since they sent me some, I tried them out...love them!

So, so comfortable and they disappear on me. I don't even know I am wearing one. I am sitting at the computer with my Glock in the Remora(not reinforced mouth) on my left hip and the single magazine pouch on my left. I honestly can not feel either one of them.

I did discover that if I chose to wear the magazine pouch on my other hip, that enough tension is created for me to not have to wear a belt, but that is only in jeans and spandex. It didn't work with my comfy sweat type pants or dress pants.

I am actually glad that I didn't buy the holster for the Ruger LCP. I am not a big fan of that gun to carry, so I rarely do and the way these holsters are made, I can conceal the Glock no problem.

I am really happy with this purchase. It fulfilled the need for which I bought it at a very affordable price plus I discovered a few other things like magazine carry in my day to day life.

Remember I am not a holster reviewer. I am only sharing my experience with this holster as it pertains to my real everyday use of it, like everything else on this blog.

If you are looking for specs and hard core details go back to Lima Life's You Tube video or Falia Photography's You Tube page.

Woman With Her Gun-

2011-12-20T09:03:00.000-08:00

Here are 2 stories of women who have come to hand guns in different ways.

I think you will enjoy reading about them.

The first one can be found at My First Time Part 1 and My First Time Part 2

The story below is from a lady who follows my blog. We have been emailing back and forth for a few weeks and I think she is one neat gal, so I asked her to share her story...

My “gun” story. That sounds rather ominous, doesn’t it? LOL There is not a LOT to my story really, no close call with danger, no epiphany on personal safety, just a spouse that started going to a range and a wife wanting to join in.

I grew up in a hunting family. Guns were not something that was viewed as “taboo” in my home, but I really had no interest in them. I remember shooting one of my dad’s rifles when I was about 10 and it leaving a big bruise on my shoulder. LOL

Fast forward many years and now I am a wife and mother. DH was a semi-regular hunter with rifles and a couple handguns locked away at his mother’s house. They were kept there most of the time since she had a cabinet with a lock and we did not. I was never anti-gun or even squeamish to have them in the house with kids, because we always taught our kids that guns were NOT toys and to respect them. We just never had the room at our old townhouse to safely store them at the time.

After moving out to a more rural area, where we had a larger home with some land, DH started hunting more with our neighbor. Started hunting with a bow and really embracing a more “outdoor” lifestyle. So, when DH decided to start going to the local range in the spring of 2011, we eventually all went with him. I became pretty proficient with a 22, but never really liked any of his 9mm’s. I just was not comfortable with them. I did not like the way they handled for me. After months of trying out different guns, which included the new Glock 19 my DH purchased for himself, I finally found my Springfield Armory XDm 9mm.

That was in August of this year (2011), since DH wanted me to get my CCP. I told him that I needed a gun that I felt comfortable with, if I was going to carry it around from protection. So... I am now the proud owner of my own handgun and a conceal carry permit.

That is my story. I am just your average mom who is proud to exercise her 2nd Amendment right to carry the means for personal protection, almost, every where I go. (The places I can not carry are for a whole post of its own. LOL)

Anyone feel like explainIng

2011-12-20T03:47:00.000-08:00

Single Action ans double action to me?

Every time I think I understand it, I don't. I have read and read and still not getting it.

I am going to use basic term here because that's all I know.

I thought single action meant the gun did one thing, and I did two. Like a revolver that I had to cock and then pull the trigger, but double action meant that with a single motion of pulling the trigger the gun could both fire the shot and cock the hammer.

However, I often hear people say SAO on a gun that all I am doing is pulling the trigger.

I do not know why this concept is so hard for me. It does not seem to confuse anyone else, but, I am special that way.

After My Day At The Range, I Am DONE With Guns!

2011-12-19T13:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, not really. Just trying to get your attention:)

In fact, while at the range today with Newbius , he asked me how I like the XDm, that I had just finished shooting and I said I "l LOVE IT" and he said, "I think that is just your default response to any and all guns you shoot."

Ha, yes it is!!

I just love, love, love them ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Let me start at the beginning.

A few days ago Newbius left a comment on one of my posts saying he would be willing to meet up with me and let me shoot the guns he has, thinking that might help me make my choice on a new carry gun.

I got a little giddy as I read his comment and I emailed him right away. A little back and forth and today I met him at our range.

First, let me say, I was nervous. Why, you might ask.

Well, cuz that is what I do. I get nervous. What I don't do is email people or meet people or go places by myself. My husband has always been my safety net/buffer, so if he doesn't email, call, text and go with me, I don't go.

I am not shy. I just am not assertive and I don't make the first move.

I have been making great strides in this area, like when I got myself dressed and headed to the rescue mission for Robbie where I didn't know a single person and without a clue of where I was going or what I was doing.

These are the intangibles that training with a gun have given me. It's not just that I carry a gun and know how to use it, it is the confidence that comes from facing a fear and over coming it. There is a freedom of spirit that comes with that kind of self courage and I crave it now.

I am sure everyone here knows what I mean by that. I certainly do not mean being reckless and disregarding the warning signs. Fear can be a very valuable tool to alert us that something is not right and nudges us by saying lets pay attention here. I am not talking about ignoring that.

Anyway, the time that Newbius could meet did not work for my husband, but without much thought, I knew I was going.

I am so glad I did. He is truly a gentleman and he was very kind to me.

The guy brought 500 rounds of .45 ammo and he just let me play and play. He gave me helpful hints and suggestions and he was very encouraging. And even though I tried, he would not accept a penny. That is fine by me because it just means we have to go again and next time I can pay.

Lets get to the good stuff.

I shot his XDm 4.5" .45 first.

Do I even have to say it...I was nervous which led me to anticipate a bit which may have led my shot to be just a b-it outside.

I actually am not an anticipator and never have been, but today I was. Fortunately, after a few rounds, I relaxed and did much better.

I was so surprised that the recoil appeared to be less than my Glock .40. Well, not less, but different. I have never understood what people's problem with the .40 caliber is until today.

Since he was trying to help me make a decision on guns, after I shot for a while, he suggested I shoot my Glock then the XDM, then the Glock and then the XDM. Just to compare recoil and check accuracy, that kind of thing.

I have never felt a sting when shooting my Glock before. Today my gun felt different when I shot it. After shooting the .45, I felt more of a snap kind of recoil with my .40. I was starting to understand what JD was saying about the difference is calibers.

He also let me shoot his wife's 1911 and even though it was also a .45 it felt different to shoot. It was heavier to me and I felt more of the recoil, but it didn't bother me. I was not accurate with this gun, at all.

I am blaming the sites.

Actually, he said one of the reasons he brought the gun was to check out the sites and he felt they were off to, so I am going to go with that.

I took pictures of both of those guns, but with the lighting the pictures didn't turn out, but the pictures of the targets did.

We both shot at this target with different guns and different distances. The grouping off to the left side is mine. I was actually aiming there. I was shooting the XDm at 7 yards.

This is the bad guy target. This is all 3 guns at different distances too, but I was pretty impressed with this over all. I shot with 2 guns I had never shot before using a caliber I had never shot and he had me do a lot of different things, like a rapid fire of an entire magazine. Every single shot was on the bad guy. Not one outside the body. I did shoot his arm once, but hey, I was trying to get the gun out of his hand before I blew his head off. I like to challenge myself a little.

One of the neatest things we did was shoot a paper plate. I had never done that and that was cool. Newbius said it is a great target to use with new shooters because they don't have the fear that comes with shooting something that looks like a person or the stress of trying to hit the bulls eye. If they hit the plate at all, they feel successful, which, of course they are.

Heck, I think if you can get them to the range and they shoot the gun even if they don't hit anything, that is a success and a very big step in the right direction.

I loved the plate so much I kept it. I will absolutely use that strategy the next time I take a new shooter to the range.

The other thing I did for the first time was shoot at 25 yards.

Not, so good and I can't even blame the sites. It was just hard for me to see. He stood behind me and said 9'oclock, or just outside the circle. I tried to make that compensation even though I couldn't see, but lets just say, significant work needs to be made in this area.

I had a blast! I met a very fine person, learned a ton and shot and shot and shot.

Can not ask for a better day!!

Thank you so much Newbius! You are awesome!!

Real Quick

2011-12-19T10:56:00.000-08:00

Today, Newbius invited me to the range. I really don't have words to explain how crazy fun it was, but since this is a blog about guns, I will sure as heck try to find them, but I have this crazy day, so not now, but soon,

However, I wanted to take a quick second to say, that apparently I have been a bit neive in my internet interactions(you would think with the extent to which I go to protect and prepare myself, I would have though this through) and in the past two days have had things happen that made me have decided to be a bit more annomous then I have been.

I realize that I have made some mistakes that might be hard to pull back, but I did remove some comments, some posts and some pictures. If you read a post that seems like it should have a picture, but doesn't, it is because I took it down. I hope to be able to edit those and get them back up, but it wont be before January.

One more quick thing, if you happen to know my real name, please do not use it on this blog or my FB page and please help me by speaking of where I live in much more generic terms, ie the state of Virginia and not much beyond.

I have no intention of living in fear, but there are certainly things I can do, to add another layer of awareness and protection.

Thanks for your help in this.